George Costanza Quotes (Page 9)
George: I... was trying to lead the way. We needed a leader! Someone to lead the way to safety.
Robin: But you yelled "get out of my way!"
George: Because... because, as the leader... if I die... then all hope is lost! Who would lead? A clown? Heh. Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?
Eric: Well, what is he?
George: Yes, he's a clown!
Eric: Alright, so what's the big deal? There's millions of clowns.
George: Alright, just forget it.
Eric: Me forget it? You should forget it! You're livin' in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the '60s, man!
George: Alright, very good, very good... go fold your little balloon animals, Eric. Eric! What kind of name is that for a clown, huh?
George: You've never heard of Bozo the Clown?
Eric: No!
George: How could you not know who Bozo the Clown is?
Eric: I don't know, I just don't.
George: How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?
Eric: Hey, man - what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig, it's not my life. I don't know who Bozo is, what - is he a clown?
George: Is he a clown? What, are you kidding me!?
George: "A guy leaves a puddle of sweat, that's a signal?"
Elaine: "Yeah, it's a social thing."
George: "What if he left you a used Kleenex? What's that, a valentine?"
George: Why don't they just hire another midget?
Mickey: It's "little people" ... You got that?!
Kramer: Well, what did you do next?
George: Then from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted. Tossed like a cork, I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there, so I reached my hand in and pulled out the obstruction!
[George pulls out a golf ball]
Kramer: Is that a Titleist? A hole in one, eh?
George: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli! I got about 50 feet out and then suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya he was 10 stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling, I realized something was obstructing his breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.
George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way passed the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you, Jerry ,at that moment I was a marine biologist!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 George: Then of course with evolution the octopus lost the nostrils and took on a more familiar look that we know today. But if you look really closely, you can still see a bump where the nose use to be.
Diane: Really?
George: Yeah, but enough about fish. I can talk about other things like... architecture...
Jerry: Now I should tell you at this point she's under the impression the you are a.....
George: A what?
Jerry: A marine biologist.
George: A marine biologist... why am I a marine biologist?
Jerry: I may have mentioned it.
George: But I'm not a marine biologist!
Jerry: I'm aware of that.
