G.O.B. Bluth Quotes (Page 3)
Lucille: We could have dealt with this earlier, but Michael's been too busy with his "English muffin."
Gob: Typical.
Buster: Delicious.
Gob: Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...
Michael: Your son?
Gob: A... ccording to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I hear the jury's still out on science.
Narrator: GOB had been a pageant judge for years.
GOB: You cannot believe what it does for your sex life.
Michael: I don't want to hear it.
GOB: I don't want to say it.First place chick is hot, but has an attitude; doesn't date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain has super-low self-esteem, so I step in and, uh... lay her crown upon my sweet head.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?
Narrator: And a traumatized Steve Holt needs a father.
Steve Holt: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling ... I had you. I'm your father Steve Holt. I can't hide from it anymore.
Steve Holt: I'll never forget this .... Dad.
Gob: [begins to cry, pulls forget-me-now from his pocket and takes it] I will.... I will.
Gob: Buster's the one who hit her, I just gave her the ruffie!
Michael: Ruffie?
Gob: Forget-me-now.
Michael: You... beat and drugged Rita?
Gob: [trying to force a forget-me-now down Michael's throat] Take this and love us again!
Michael: Instead of trying to impress our fake father, maybe you should be spending some time with your real son.
Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt?! The moron jock?
Gob: That's my son you pothead!
Gob: My God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the-the feeling that you’re... that you’re feeling is-is what many of us call “a feeling.”
Gob: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard.
GOB: Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son...
Narrator: He does.
GOB: But if I ever do I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods or I'm going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.
Narrator: GOB was growing up.
Gob: Pardon me if I don't burst into tears, Michael. At least he promised to take you. [cries] He just let me blindly enjoy my childhood! I didn't even know there was a cabin ... he wasn't taking me to!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 14th, 2007 Gob: I can’t. I already lost a brother today.
Michael: Franklin?
Gob: Well, I didn’t lose him, but he’s all puckered and white.
Michael: On the plus side, you can take him to lunch at the club now.
Gob: That’s the exact kind of joke he would have loved! [sings] You know it's true. Everything I do...
Michael: Please don't do this.
Gob: ... I do it for you!!!
