Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 3)
Homer: (after Lisa admits lying) My daughter's like CBS News!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Homer: Bart, this is a matter of life & death… What’s the difference between ketchup & catsup? They’re gonna cut my head off!!!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Homer: Bart, I need you to go to the gas station and say you want your tires inflated, but really, you inflate these volleyballs, then throw them over the prison walls to create chaos and confusion.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Homer: [walks in cave and sees gold] MO JOO! [dives into the treasure] WHEEE HEE HEE! [swims through the treasure singing, spits coins from his mouth] Eww, silver! Ohh a penny! This is my lucky day!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Burns: Perhaps I can be of help?
Homer: Ahh! Where did you come from?
Burns: I'm your cell mate! You never noticed me before because you're extremely self centered!
Homer: Oh sorry, I wasn't listening, I was too busy checking out my reflection in this yellow water. [at reflection] Oh hoo hoo, lookin' good!
Homer: Oh little mouse, you are only thing keeping me sane. [Eats mouse] Oh now I have nothing!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Homer: Are you gonna torture me?
Lenny: We can't tell you. Not knowing is the worst torture of all!
Carl: Well, that and the rat helmet. [Lenny and Carl throw Homer in his cell]
Lenny: Now, get some sleep, you got a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: (groans) 9 AM?!
Judge: I sentence you to life.
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive!
Judge: In prison! [hammers podium]
Homer: AAAAH!!!
Marge: Homer no! Revenge never solves anything!
Homer: Then what is America doing in Iraq?!
(Homer and Bart floating in the sea, after the storm destroyed the ship)
Homer (praying): Oh, Mother Sea, giver of fish, taker of boats, toilet to the world. The Greeks call you "Poseidon," the Romans..."Aquaman." Look into thy starfish heart and protect our souls, so we might live to go tubing on thee again.
Homer: Do you think your mother will ever remarry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why, you little...!
(strangles Bart)
Homer: Just see if I die!