Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 66)
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • February 16th, 2007Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • February 16th, 2007Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.
[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh.
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 16th, 2007Homer (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
• Vote for this Quote! • February 16th, 2007Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 16th, 2007Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.