Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 8)
Homer: (attempting to pie Mr. Burns) I've run out of pie-related puns!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Homer: But I'm no super genius! ... Or are I?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Homer: Hey, I know you! We met in a police line-up!
Bum: Oh yeah! You know, number two and number four are an item now.
Homer: You don't need to tell me. I was number three.
Bart: What are you talking about?
Homer: When a woman says nothing's wrong that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong that means EVERYTHING's wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you better not laugh your ass off!
Lisa: (thinking) Oh, my God, my brother's my best friend!
Bart: (thinking) Oh, my God, my sister's my best friend!
Marge: (thinking) Diamonds! I still can't believe he gave me diamonds!
Homer: (thinking) Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the baldest of them of all?
Homer: How can you write such horrible things about me?
Marge: You told me you liked it! You didn't read it at all! You lied to me!
Homer: I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Marge: Homie, I finished my novel…
Homer: Wooh, typed.
Marge: It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think.
Homer: No problem. Aww 286 pages!
Marge: It's double spaced.
Homer: Woo hoo! I'm half-way through!
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need some dinner STAT! And the kids need some CPR lessons.
Lisa: We're not paramedics!
Homer: I'll say.
Homer: Marge, I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby!
Marge: Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel.
Homer: Oh, I was so close!
Homer: You were gonna start a novel without informing me?!
Marge: Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call!
Homer: I also fed some ducklings.
Marge: I know, I got your message.