Jack Donaghy Quotes (Page 5)
Jack: [on the phone with his love interest] The flowers were lovely, thank you. No, you hang up first. Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three. No, I didn't hang up either.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 12th, 2007 JACK: That's why I only date 20 year olds.
DENNIS: Let me tell you about 20 year olds, half of them are 16.
Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?
Jack: Leo's an excellent physician and a pretty good dentist.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 12th, 2007 Jack: Conan, Tracy’s really excited to be back on your show.
Conan: I don’t know. He’s kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don’t try to stab me.
Jack: Well, Tracy’s feeling a lot better now. He’s under a doctor’s care.
Conan: That’s what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.
Jack: Conan, this is important to me. So, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way.
Conan: What’s the hard way?
Jack: You do a live Christmas Eve special from Kabul every year until the War on Terror is won.
Conan: Tell Tracy I’ll see him tonight, you black Irish bastard.
Jack: Back at you, red.
Liz: Why did you bump Jenna from Conan?
Jack: Because if I have a choice between an international movie star and a woman who does commercials for ShopRite…
Liz: No, no, no. Jenna doesn’t do those commercials anymore. She got fired
Jack: I don’t do these things just to drive you crazy, Lemon. I do them for the good of the show.
Liz: Well, I’m the one who always has to clean up the mess afterwards.
Jack: That’s why my job is way better than yours.
Jack: So, how did it go.
Liz: He moved in with me.
Jack: Well, of course he did.
Jack: Lemon, today is the first day of the rest of your life; and what is the first thing you need to do?
Liz: I have to break up with Dennis.
Jack: And if you don't break up with him now?
Liz: He'll just keep showing up at work to sell beepers; we'll just get more and more tangled up in each other's lifes 'till I can't even get away and we're just like... Oh, my God!
Jack: That's right! He's the Rat King. And there's only one way to break up with a rat, you have to cut him off completely
Liz: I know.
Jack: You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tin foil. You must be ruthless, you must be absolute. Remember always you are the exterminator, say it!
Liz: I am the exterminator!
Jack: Say it like you mean it!
Liz: [louder] I am the exterminator!
Jack: Louder!
Liz: [shouts] I am the exterminator!
Jack: Okay, not that loud. People are trying to work around here.
Liz: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
Jack: Gosh, I hope you got a picture of that with a camera on your beeper.
Dennis: Actually, my beeper doesn't have a camera; but it does have a pedometer. Actually, not this one.
