Jack Donaghy Quotes (Page 6)
Jack: You enjoy that restaurant?
Dennis: No, I think I was right about that place. We saw a whole nest of rats when we were leaving.
Liz: No, we didn't.
Dennis: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd freak out. [pause] Actually, I think I saw a rat king.
Cerie: What's a rat king?
Frank: Oh, it's when a buncha rats are crammed into a tiny space and their tails get all tangled up; and they can't even pull apart.
Dennis: And it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king and we saw one.
Dennis: Dennis Duffy, Beeper King.
Jack: That's a sharp tie you've got there Dennis.
Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don't think so.
Liz: This is clearly the nicest restaurant we've ever been to.
Dennis: Hold on a second, this place ain't that nice, alright. It's got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.
Liz: No rat talk tonight, okay.
Liz: ... Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done.
Jack: If you were any other woman on Earth, I would be turned on right now.
Jack: Lemon, I need your help.
Liz: Really, Jack Donaghy needs my...
Jack: Don't gloat, it makes you seem man-ish.
Jack: Lemon, I don't know how to do this.
Liz: I know.
Jack: I don't get it. It's not the fear. I thrive on fear.
Liz: Yeah, you're lookin' out a fake window right now, by the way.
Jack: I bow hunt polar bear. I once drove a rental car into the Hudson to practice escaping. And it's not the public speaking, there's just something about performing I can't wrap my brain around. All this creative crap. Acting. Ahhh. I've never been able to do it. Never.
Liz: Oh you should do it. It will be hilarious.
Jack: Well, that will be a refreshing change of pace for the show, won't it?
Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.
Jack: [to writers] Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
Frank: Oh, yeah. It's a special kinda G.I. Joe.
Jack: It's Frank, right?
Frank: Yes, sir.
Jack: Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.
Liz: Which means?
Jack: I'll be here everyday. Soaking it up.
Liz: Well it was nice of you to let him keep his job.
Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we'll all either be working for him... or dead by his hand.
Jack: You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen, and I'm going to solve you. Yes I am.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007
