Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 10)
Jerry: People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 George: Want to get some lunch.
Jerry: Just had a big bowl of Kix.
George: Oh, well, that's very mature.
Ms. Rhode Island: I'm watching my weight.
Jerry: I'm watching my height. My doctor doesn't want me to get any taller.
Jerry: Geez, these are delicious. Where did you learn to make eggs like this?
Rachel: Umm... This is so good.
George: Ah, enjoying them?
Rachel: Mmm-hmm.
George: Oh, good. You know, you might wanna try eating it with one of these. [Holds up lobster bib]
Rachel: There's lobster in these eggs?
George: Not that much. You know, they tend to shrink in the water.
George: Elaine! Do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: You mean like laundry?
Jerry: Like when a man goes swimming... afterwards...
Elaine: It shrinks?!
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle.
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does.
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.
George: How do you know?
Jerry: Women aren't like us.
George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything!
George: Well I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold...
Jerry: Oh... You mean... shrinkage.
George: Yes. Significant shrinkage.
Jerry: So you feel you were short changed.
George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks that's me she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.
George: Great, great. So anytime you want you can just visualize her naked.
Jerry: I guess that's true...
George: Stop it, stop it! It's not fair. It's not fair. I don't like this situation, Jerry. I don't like it one bit.
Jerry: What do you want me to do? You wanna see Rachel naked?
George: Yes, yes! The punishment should fit the crime.
Jerry: You can see me naked. I can offer you that.
George: Well, how good a look did you get?
Jerry: What do you mean?
George: Well, if she was a criminal and you had to describe her to a police-sketch artist...
Jerry: They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.
George: You saw Jane topless?
Jerry: Well, when you went for the tomatoes she lied out topless.
George: Oh you mean face down on her chest.
Jerry: No.
George: Face up on her back?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: Well why'd she do that?
Kramer: I guess she was hot.