Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 11)

Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza

Kramer: Hey, hey, hey! Look at what I got!
George: Hey! Wow, the K-Man!
Jerry: You got lobster for everybody?
Kramer: Yeah, and they're fresh! Right out of the ocean.
George: This is fantastic. Man, what a weekend. Swimming, lobster for dinner...
Kramer: I know, it's great. And I saw Jane topless.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


George: I love Hampton tomatoes. You know, you can eat 'em like apples. You know it's funny, the tomato never really took on as a hand fruit.
Jerry: Well, the tomato's an anomaly. So successful with the ketchup and the sauce, but you can't find a good one.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Jerry: Is it me or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?
Elaine: Uh, I couldn't look. It was like the Pekinese.
Jerry: Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool. And, you know, the thing is, they're never gonna know, no one's ever gonna tell them.
Elaine: Oh, you have to lie.
Jerry: It's a must lie situation.
Elaine: Yes, it's a must lie situation.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Jerry: This is weird, wild stuff. George hasn’t even seen her yet.
Elaine: Why do you think we’re getting a sneak preview?
Kramer: Maybe she’s trying to create a buzz.
Elaine: What?
Kramer: You know, get some good word-of-mouth going.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Jerry: Oh this is interesting.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Jane's topless.
Kramer: Yo-Yo Ma.
Jerry: Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
Elaine: Nice rack.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007



Jerry: And then there's Maude.
Elaine: Look at my face, look at it. You see any lines?
Jerry: No lines.
Elaine: You know why? One word: shade.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Kramer: Hey Jerry. Rub some lotion on my back.
Jerry: Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?
Kramer: Come on, I'll rub some on yours.
Jerry: No, there's no sweetening the deal. No.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Elaine: Oh, isn't that weird that George and Jane haven't had sex yet, but they're spending a weekend together?
Jerry: I know, George is pretty pleased about it. It's like she signed a letter of intent.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Kramer: Hey Jerry, you ever wear silk underwear?
Jerry: No.
Kramer: Put that on the top of your list.
Jerry: No, not for me. A little too delightful.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


Elaine: We gotta see the new baby anyway, at least we'll get a weekend in the Hamptons out of it.
Jerry: Didn't they just have a baby?
Elaine: That was two years ago, remember? 'Jeh-Ree, you gotta see the Bay-Bee! You gotta see the Bay-Bee!'
Jerry: Is it possible they're just having babies to get people to visit them?

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 272