Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 14)
Driver: I'm so sorry, you'll have to forgive me. I can't hear a damn thing. I went to that rock concert last night at the garden. My seats were right up against the speaker. It's a heavy metal group. "Metalli"-something.
Kramer: "Ca".
Driver: Huh?
George: Wha..?
Jerry: "Ca".
George: Ah.
Kramer: I'm tellin' ya! The pigman is alive. The government's been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties.
Jerry: Will you stop it. Just because a hospital gets a grant to study DNA doesn't mean they are creating a race of mutant pigmen.
Kramer: Oh, Jerry. Wake up to reality! It's a military thing. They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors.
Jerry: Half silk, half cotton, half linen. How can you go wrong?
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 George: I'm at the health club and while I'm in the pool, some guy walks off with my glasses. Who steals prescription glasses?
Elaine: You don't have an old pair?
George: I broke 'em playing basketball.
Jerry: He was running from a bee.
Kramer: You're the first pirate!
Jerry: But I don't want to be a pirate!
Jerry: But why would you fake it?
Kramer: Say you wanted to get some sleep.
Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.
Jerry: Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to, we have to.
Jerry: I guess after that many beers he's probably a little groggy anyway.
Elaine: You didn't know.
Jerry: What about the breathing, the panting... the moaning, the screaming?
Elaine: Fake, fake... fake, fake!
George: You faked?
Elaine: On occasion.
Jerry: And the guy never knows?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: How can he not know that?
Elaine: Because I was gooood.
Sandi: What's the matter?
Jerry: Nothing.
Sandi: You're acting weird. Is anything wrong?
Jerry: No.
Sandi: Are you breaking up with me?
Jerry: Are we going out?
Sandi: You're breaking up with me, aren't you?
Jerry: Do you want me to break up with you?
Sandi: If that's what you want.
Jerry: I don't even know what you're talking about.
Sandi: Fine. Break up with me.
Jerry: All right. We're broken up.
Sandi: ..Can we still be friends?