Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 22)

Jerry Seinfeld Photo

Jerry: Casus belli.
Elaine: Casus..belli.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Jerry: I don't know. I'm obsessed with it. It's like a spider in the toilet struggling for a survival. And even if you know it's not going to make it, you kind of root it for awhile.
Elaine: And then you flush.
Jerry: Well, it's a spider.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Jerry: You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Jerry: I could get uromisotisis poisoning and die... thats why.

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Bookman: I saw you on TV once, I remembered your name from my list. I looked it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity, that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?
Jerry: Certainly not.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007



Bookman: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.
Jerry: I try.
Bookman: You think this is all a big joke?
Jerry: No, I don't.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Gavin: Prediction: You'll be calling me to ask if you can come and visit Farfel before the month is out.
Jerry: Prediction: I never see you or him again for the rest of my life.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Jerry: Two hundred seats on a plane, I gotta wind up next to Yukon Jack and his dog Cujo.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Photographer: Say "astronaut".
Elaine: Heh ,heh, say what? Haha, heh! say what?
Jerry: You took too many of those pills.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


Jack: What happened to you?
Jerry: I got in a fist fight with one of the ladies at the pool.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 272