Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 24)

Jerry Seinfeld Photo

Jerry: And who wouldn't love someone who had a pony?
Monya: You! You said so!

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Jerry: In fact I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up!
Monya: I had a pony.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Jerry: If I have to sit next to Uncle Leo, I am leaving, He's always grabbin' my arm when he talks to me. That's probably because so many people have left in the middle of his conversation.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Jerry: [to Monya] These peas are bursting with country fresh flavor.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Jerry: I don't even know them. What is she, your second cousin? I mean, I've met them three times in my life.
Morty: I don't know her either. She makes me fly all the way from Florida for this, and then she criticizes my jacket.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007



Jerry: He talks about him like he split the atom. He works for the Parks Department.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Kramer: You don't think I can do it.
Jerry: I know that you can't, and I'm positive that you won't.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Elaine: Jerry, look at this closet! Look at this! I'm walking in it! It's a "walk-in." Can you believe it? I'm nuts about this, what do you think?
[closes closet with Elaine inside it]
Jerry: I like that!

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Police Officer: If we find your stuff we'll let you know.
Jerry: Do you ever find anything?
Police Officer: No.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


Kramer: How can you not have insurance?
Jerry: Because I spent my money on the Clapco D29. It's the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw...the door... MUST BE CLOSED!!

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 272