Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 25)
Jerry: [realizing answering machine was stolen] I hate the thought of someone out there returning my calls.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.
Jerry: And I cannot overstate this: no soft cheeses of any kind. Is that clear?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Jerry: One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activity ... strictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Elaine: What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats?
Jerry: Well, it couldn't be too expensive. $13, $14 a cat?
Elaine: You want to make $28?
Vanessa: I said the market fluctuates. Remember?
Jerry: Look, Vanessa, of course the market fluctuates. Everybody knows that. I just got fluctuated out of four thousand dollars!
Jerry: I think Superman probably has a very good sense of humor.
George: I never heard him say anything really funny.
Jerry: But it’s common sense. He’s got super strength, super speed... I’m sure he’s got super humor.
Jerry: [to Laura] So... uh, make yourself at home. Uh, can I get you anything? Bread, water...salad-dressing?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Jerry: If you know what happened in the Met game, don't say anything, I taped it. Hello?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Jerry You can't over-die, you can't over-dry!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007