Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 26)
Jerry: Women know what men want, men know what men want. What do we want? We want women!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Jerry: If you've got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 George: What, it was purple, I liked it. I don't actually recall considering the button!
Jerry: Oh you don't recall?
George: Uh no, not at this time.
Jerry: Well, Senator, I'd just like to know what you knew and when you knew it.
Jerry: See, now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.
George: Really?
Jerry: Oh yeah. The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land. You look like you live with your mother.
Jerry: You walk over that table, you pick up an eggroll, you don't say anything, you eat it, say "thank you very much", wipe your mouth, walk away. I give you 50 bucks.
George: What are they gonna do?
Jerry: They won't do anything; in fact, you'll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives.
Elaine: 50 bucks, you'll give me 50 bucks?
Jerry: 50 bucks. That table over there, the three couples.
Elaine: OK, I don't wanna go over there and do it, and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole, like I didn't put mustard on it or something...
Jerry: No, no tricks.
Elaine: Should I do it, George?
George: For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in the soup and blow.
George: She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.
Jerry: Who's Cartwright?
George: I'm Cartwright!
Jerry: You're not Cartwri-
George: Of course I'm not Cartwright!
Jerry: "Oh, one more thing about the car. Let it warm up for a minute."
George: "That's a tough minute. It's like waiting in the shower for the conditioner to work."
Jerry: "Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason."
• Vote for this Quote! • February 13th, 2007George: What's up with you?
Jerry: Nothing much. I slept with Elaine last night.
George: Oxygen! I need some oxygen! This is major!
Jerry: Sometimes when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that and I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 13th, 2007
