Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 3)

What's Up with this Picture?

Jerry: So I have to choose between seeing you and doing the voice?
Claire: That’s right.
Jerry: I can do that.
Claire: So what’s your decision?
Jerry: I don't know.
[time passes]
Claire: Jerry, hi.
Jerry: Helloooooooo!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007


Jerry: So, what’s going on?
George: Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They’ve downgraded me to some sort of a bunker. I’m like Hitler’s last days here.
Jerry: So, are you going to leave?
George: Oh no! I’m vigilant. They’ll never get me out. I’m like a weed, Jerry.
Jerry: I thought you’re like Hitler in the bunker?
George: I’m a weed in Hitler’s bunker.
Jerry: I’m getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007


Jerry: So you're pretending to be a tourist?
George: It's beautiful. She makes all the plans. I'm not from around here, so it's okay if I'm stupid. And she knows I'm only in town visiting, so there's no messy breakups.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


George: When do you start to worry about ear hair?
Jerry: When you hear like a soft rustling.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


Elaine: I've yada yada'd sex.
George: Really?
Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part!
Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007



Elaine: How 'bout this one? How 'bout, 'Your cranium called. It's got some space to rent.'?
George: What does that mean?
Jerry: Hey, here you go: Hey, Reilly. The zoo called. You're due back by six!
George: No. No, no, no. You're not helping me.
Kramer: Look, just tell him you had sex with his wife. That'll kill him.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


Kramer: Little Jerry's going to get his clock cleaned. I gotta get him outta there. [lunges for Little Jerry] ... Little Jerry!
Jerry: Kramer!
Elaine: Stop the fight!
George: Tamale!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


Jerry: Little Jerry's a lean mean peckin' machine!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


Elaine: I mean, think about it, Jerry. There must be something exciting about this guy if he can arouse that kind of passion. I mean, to be stab-worthy, you know? It's kind of a compliment.
Jerry: Yeah, too bad he didn't get shot. He could have been the one.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


Kramer: Hey, stay away from the chicken. Bad chicken, mess you up.
Seth: That's not going to be good for business.
Jerry: That's not going to be good for anybody.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007


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Total Quotes: 272