Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 4)
Jerry: Hello, is somebody there? Mr. Marbles?
• Rating 4.6 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007Jerry: Broccoli? Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007Jerry: [to Newman, about Kramer] The greasy doorknob, the constant licking of the fingers... he's hooked on this chicken, isn't he?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007 Elaine: Jerry, George, Kramer.... this is Kevin, Gene, and Feldman.
Jerry: This is really weird.
Joey: [buzzer] Come on. Mom's down in the car.
Kramer: Okay, Joey.
Jerry: You guys both have class at the same time?
Kramer: No, we're in the same class.
Jerry: What do you mean you're in the same class?
Kramer: He almost beat me.
Jerry: Kramer, you're fighting children?!
Kramer: We're all at the same skill level, Jerry.
Jerry: He's nine years old! You don't need karate, you can just wring his neck!
Kramer: What's wrong?
Elaine: Oh, Peterman ran off to Burma and now he wants me to run the catalog.
Kramer: Where?
Jerry: Myanmar.
Kramer: What's that? The discount pharmacy?
Jerry: Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you asking him out?
Jessie: Yeah... I guess you could say that.
Jerry: Right in front of me! How do you know we're not together? Two guys sitting, laughing, drinking "Champagne Coolies."
George: Susan has this doll collection and one of the dolls looks exactly like my mother. She likes to sleep with it.
Jerry: Wow. You were in bed with your mother last night?
George: Felt like it. I tell you, this doll is pretty spooky. It's freakin' me out, man.
Kramer: I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!
Jerry: No good?
Kramer: It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.
Newman: Look, sister, go get yourself a cup of coffee, all right? Beat it! All right, now here's the lowdown. Through a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers.
Jerry: Not from the footage I've seen.