Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 3)
Jim: (dressed as Dwight) Last week, I was in a drugstore and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of.. (punches in numbers in his watch, and holds it up to the camera.) Eleven dollars.
• Rating 1.7 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Jim: Look at that.
Dwight: I'm Jim Halpert.
Jim: Spot on.
Dwight: Bleahhh. Little comment. Blah!
Andy: William Doolittle at your service. A.K.A. Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael: No, no, I need two men on this. That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!
Jim: [dressed up as Dwight] Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought...
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight: Bears do not...what is going on? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! [pause] Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I thank you.
[Jim pulls out a bobblehead from the briefcase and puts it on his desk]
Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: Michael!
Dwight: Oh, that's funny. Michael!
Dwight: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim: Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight: Okay, no, Jim, tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. [Andy walks away] Jim! Tell him!
Jim: Andy...nah, he's too far.
Dwight: Damn you.
Jim: I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.
• Rating 2.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Jim: Why I don't want to go? Didn't expect to need a reason, so let me think here... I don't know any of these people. It's an obligation. I don't like talking paper in my free time...or in my work time...and...did I use the word "pointless?"
• Rating 3.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Karen: Hey Jim, here's the aspirin you wanted.
Jim: Oh thank god. I have such a headache from the glare.
Karen: What glare?
Jim: The glare off Angela's crucifix - it's blinding.
Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
Jim: Michael referred me to a male strip club called "Banana Slings." Instead, I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.
• Rating 4.5 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007