Jim Halpert Quotes (Page 6)
Jim: When I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were... [pause] and then he spoke. [grins] I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Jim: Oh my god! Dwight got a hooker! Oh my god, I gotta call... I gotta call somebody. I don't know who to call... Dwight got a HOOKER!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Jim: I can’t say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but, I can assure you that it’s certainly not more flammable.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.
Dwight: I don't believe you, continue.
Jim : Dwight tried to kiss me.
Michael : What?
Jim : And I didn’t tell anyone, ’cause I’m not really sure how I feel about it.
Dwight : That is not true. Redact it. Redact it!
Jim : Well, I’m not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it.
Jim: This came out really well. There you go.
Dwight: This is humongous. I am not a security threat. And, my middle name is "Kurt", not "Fart."
Jim: [squinting to read] What did I write?
Jim: Yeah. I mean, it’s inevitable. I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but I’m fine with it. She hears me arranging my social life, and we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the Internet, so it evens out.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Jim: So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 [Dwight is dressed in a deputy's uniform]
Jim: You look cute today, Dwight.
Dwight: Thanks, girl.
Jim: I'm just saying you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim: [holds up picture] Marijuana is a memory loss drug. So maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight: I would remember.
Jim: How could you, if it just erased your memory?
Dwight: That's not how it works!
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight: Knock it off! OK, now I am interviewing you!
Jim: No, you said that I'd be conducting the interviewing when I walked in here. [raising voice] NOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE?
