Joey Tribbiani Quotes (Page 2)
Monica: [Reading her bill] Champagne, strawberries... Oh my god! I can’t believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Joey: Yeah, that’s sad. Mashuga nut?
Rachel: Listen, y’know what, sir? For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like I’m holding down the fort all by myself.
Mona: It’s Joey right?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: ...Wait a minute! N-No! I’m the nice one! I’m the one who danced with the kids all night! How..How small are your feet?! [
Ross: Monica’s pregnant!
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?
Monica: Guys! I’m not pregnant.
Joey: Ah. [To Chandler] Slow swimmers
Joey: What are you doin'?
Rachel: Moving a chair, so I can have a place to sit?
Joey: No, no, Rosita, does not move.
Rachel: As in, what...?
Joey: As in, Rosita does not move!
Rachel: Why not?!
Joey: 'Cause she is in the equal distance from the kitchen to the bathroom and she is at the perfect angle so that no glare is comin' off Stevie...
Rachel: Stevie the TV?
Joey: Is there a problem?!
Joey: The question, Rachel, is this: does he like you? Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: You know, like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him too long, or did all that just make sense?
Chandler: Well, you don't look good, Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more.
Joey: Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Chandler: [mockingly] Yeah. So, Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, think of it like this: the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Chandler: Thank you.
Chandler: No! Look, I don't cry! It's not a big deal! Okay?!
Joey: No! It's not okay! You're dead inside!
Joey: I can't believe Ross went out with Rachel's sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Joey: Yeah you got 5 years left!
Chandler: Joey…
Joey: You wanna make it 6?!
