Joey Tribbiani Quotes (Page 6)
Joey: Hey, Rach, you want some sandwich?
Rachel [disgusted]: OH! what is in that?
Joey: Olive loaf and ham spread. No mayo.
Rachel: No, because mayo would make it gross.
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Let me get a lemonade to go.
Gunther: Lemonade? You okay, man?
Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds!
Chandler: Oh. So how many cameras are actually on you?
Joey: It just seems so futile, you know? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Chandler: Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.
Chandler: and last but not least...[Joey and Chandler hand Monica a packet of condoms]
Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure!
Joey: and for Ross...Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: and...A LEMON-LIME!
Ross [sarcastically]: Well, this is too much! I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, your turn. [and gives her gift]
Phoebe [excited]: TOILET SEAT COVERS!...Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah
Phoebe: You guys!
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades!...I don't even have a car.
Joey: No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do!
[Chandler, Joey and Phoebe return from their outing]
Chandler: ho-ho-ho-holy crap, is it hot in here!
Joey: You mind if I turn the heat down?
Monica [sarcastically]: Hey!, we could have used that kind of thinking earlier!
[moments later]
Joey: Hey Monica, the knob was broken so I turned it off from underneath. I hope that's alright?
[then everyone turns around and looks at Joey with bewilderment]
Chandler: You said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite...!
Ross: What?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.
[Chandler and Ross stare at him, aghast.]
Joey: What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes, it is... in prison!
