John 'JD' Dorian Quotes (Page 10)
J.D.'s narration: It's never easy to see a patient that's getting worse instead of better. In fact that's kind of the opposite of what we're going for.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 5th, 2007 Laverne: I've seen this before. Gauze, sponges -- some young surgeon left something in this man.
J.D.: Noo. No. I know the guy that closed, he'd never be that careless.
Turk: 'Kay, uh... Excuse me, sorry; has anyone seen my keys? No? Okay, how about my wallet? Anyone?
Elliot: Our shifts keep overlapping on Friday nights.
J.D.: It's the closest thing I've had to a date, recently.
Elliot: Well, I had a great time tonight.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, me too. So... can I page you?
Elliot: You better. And don't do the whole two-day waiting thing.
J.D.: Oh, baby, I don't play by the rules.
J.D.: So, nothing was going on last night between me and Elliot.
Dr. Cox: Good thing you still have your 'flower', then.
J.D.: I'm just a little lonely, you know; I guess 'cause I haven't really been hanging out with Turk since he's been dating Carla.
Dr. Cox: First of all, who's Turk? And don't answer. Look, if you have a medical question for me, I'm forced by hospital policy to answer you. However, if you ask me about a personal problem, I'm going to start doing this. [Flicks J.D.'s ear]
J.D.: Have you seen Turk?
Carla: Not since this morning.
J.D.: Well, I'm sure you'll end up seeing him before I do, so...
Carla: Bambi? Are you giving me attitude?
J.D.: What if I am?
Carla: Sweetie, you have to be a minority sidekick in a bad movie to pull that off. You know what I'm talking about, right?
Laverne: Oh, child, please! You speak the truth!
Carla: Explain it to this man, please.
Laverne: First, you do the head, then you do the finger, then you talk through the nose... And then you give a lot of attitude. That's how it works. But if you're not from there, you don't understand, so I'm not gonna even 'axe' you-
J.D.: Okay, I'm gonna leave now.
Carla: What? Oh, no you didn't! Where' you goin'? Where' you goin'!?
Eliot: The first few weeks here have been so hard for me, mentally, physically, emotionally. It's like math camp all over again. Not that I've ever been to math camp - it's just an expression.
J.D.: I use it all the time.
Dr. Cox: Say anything else to him?
J.D.: Nope.
Dr. Cox: But you wanted to.
J.D.: Yeah, but you told me not to!
Dr. Cox: Geez, J.D., would you be a man? Lookit, if you can't stick to your convictions, you'll never make it as a doctor.
[J.D. feels so frustrated his head explodes]
Dr. Cox: I can't believe your head exploded. If your head explodes, you'll never make it as a doctor. I mean, come on, you look ridiculous.
J.D.: I look around and see how all my friends might die. [about Dr. Cox] Liver disease, [about Turk] heart disease, [about Elliot] somebody choking her, [about himself] stress.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 5th, 2007 Dr. Cox: Hey, newbie... know what your problem is?
J.D.: My bones hurt?
Dr. Cox: You were gonna, what, rescue me from loneliness with a $3 six-pack of light beer? It turns out we can't save people from themselves, newbie. We just treat 'em. We're gonna treat that kid with a respiratory problem, and when he comes back with cancer, go ahead and treat that too.
J.D.: Well, thanks for the pick-me-up.
Dr. Cox: Hey. Smokers, drinkers, druggies, fatties, whatever. All I'm saying is, if you keep living and dying on whether or not a person changes, well...you're not gonna make it as a doctor, that's all. Now come here and give me a hug. It's okay, come here. Come here. Get outta here! And take this piss water with you. It's embarrassing to have it here.
Dr Cox's friend: I'll drink it!
Dr. Cox: I'll take the beer. You'll beat it.