John 'JD' Dorian Quotes (Page 3)
Carla: What if I said "There's a skinny Turk"?
Turk: [Looks Offended]
Carla's Narration: And now his boyfriend will comfort him...
JD: [Appearing from no where] Don't listen to her Brown Bear, your body is fierce!
Turk: Is it?
JD: Like Taye Diggs!
Turk: [to Carla, smugly] Taye Diggs
J.D.: (After being attacked in a body bag by Doug) Doug! Why are you hitting me?!
Doug: I thought you were a dead person coming back to life!
J.D.: ...Then why were you hitting me?!
Doug: Dead people should be dead!
J.D.: You're not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julien?
J.D.: We didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julien.
J.D.: [In the bath] This is my first day off in weeks, nothing could make this better..except for crankin' up the Toto [sings] i miss the rains down in Afffrrricaaaa! [looks at body butter] Mango body butter? [goes to lick it]
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 [J.D.'s hand is moving]
J.D.: I think there's something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that.
[After J.D. is assigned to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awarding ceremony]
Dr. Cox: You are officially trapped.
J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true.
Dr. Cox: You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?
J.D.: Wait, are you Charles James...?
Charles James: Yes
JD: Charles James the writer?
Charles James: Yep.
JD: [to himself] JUST... STAY... CALM!
J.D Narration: I guess the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
• Rating 4.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007 Molly: I'm sorry, I'm attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people and you're just too normal.
JD: [to himself] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
JD: My emotional journey began at five years old when I walked in on my parents having sex in a position my father would later playfully describe as "the jackhammer." I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets and no matter how much I try I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
JD: [to himself] At that very moment I feared I had divulged too much.
JD: Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.
Molly: Wow.
J.D.: Come on, man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use; hit me with it!
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees' payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, every-everything that exists, past, present, and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [pause] Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he?!
[later]
Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to all white guys who add -izzle to anything.
J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.