John 'JD' Dorian Quotes (Page 4)
Janitor: Forks, Fran, forks.
J.D.: Are forks where the big money is?
Janitor: Forks and ladles.
Sean: Why are you messing with her head, J.D.?
Danni: Because he wants what he can't have.
J.D.: Okay, new rule! Hospitals are for doctors and sick people only!
J.D.: God, I wish we could go back in time and see that game.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have!
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!
J.D.: Guess it's just the two of us.
Danni: Do you wanna have sex?
J.D.: I guess.
[They start to take their clothes off.]
Danni: Do I have to look at you?
J.D.: Please don't.
Danni: Shut up!
J.D.: Hey, do you wanna play darts?
Danni: Sure!
J.D.: OK great have fun I'll be over here!
Danni: Do you even enjoy spending time with me?
J.D.: "Enjoy" is such a strong word. I... I'm used to it! Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism. But you don't enjoy hanging out with me, do you?
Danni: Not really. I'm more into tough guys, you know.
J.D.: Last night in bed I knocked you unconscious.
Danni: For like, five seconds!
J.D.: Laverne, what would you give me if I got this jellybean in your cleavage?
Laverne: A concussion.
[J.D. steps out of the shower wearing a pair of shorts. Dr. Cox and Ben look at him, puzzled.]
J.D.: What? They're my shower shorts.
[Later]
Dr. Cox: Those are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. [referring to shorts]
J.D.: You know you're right. I was an idiot to buy these shower shorts. I mean it's not like they come with a complimentary shower wallet. [Produces wallet attached to shorts via elastic cord, which snaps back at him] Ow.
[Later]
Dr. Cox: Shower Shortz?
J.D.: [Advertisement voice] For the man who has nothing to hide. But still wants to.
[J.D. and Turk are watching kites fly outside]
J.D.: I hate missing practice.
Turk: Me too.
J.D. and Turk: Mighty Kites!
[J.D. and Turk touch fists and form their hands into the shape of flying birds]
Turk: If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off.
Carla: That's sweet - while your mother lays there dying!
Turk: [to J.D.] Tell her.
J.D.: His mom doesn't die. Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body. She falls in love with me, we all move in together.
Turk: It'd be awkward at first but, I'd make it work... because I love my mom.
J.D.: Mmm... and I would love her too!
Carla: New low.
J.D.: [to unkempt female doctor] Hey Janice, is it windy out?
Janice: No, why do you always ask me that?
J.D.: Because I'm... I'm captain of m... my kite-flying team... the m... mighty kites!
