Julius Rock Quotes
Mr. Omar: Drainada?
Julius: That's right. The Spanish Drano.
Narrator: Doesn't Drano already sound Spanish?
Julius: [about the dinner Maxine served him] I can't eat this. My gout'll flare up.
Maxine: Oh, don't worry, that's oven-fried chicken.
Julius: [about his credit card] Rochelle, I couldn't tell you about it.
Rochelle: Why not? Do you know how many times we could've used it?
Julius: That's why I couldn't tell you about it. I didn't want another bill, baby.
Rochelle: Oh. OK, Mr. "Responsibility," Mr. Fiscally Conservative, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HIDE THINGS FROM HIS WIFE, answer this for me: Since you're so against credit cards, why do you have one?
Rochelle: You been hidin' a credit card, what else are you hidin'? Is Julius really your name? Oh, maybe you're the Green River Killer? Do you know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried? Who shot Kennedy? For all I know, you could be Batman!
Julius: I am not Batman.
[Julius is then seen dressed as Batman]
Julius: I'm Batman.
Drew: I was watching that!
Julius: I've seen it. Rosebud's his sled.
Julius: You're firing me at Christmastime?
Narrator: That's the only time you can fire Santa.
Julius: So, what can Santa give you for Christmas?
Little Girl: A Malibu Barbie with the pink remote-controlled Corvette, the Barbie townhouse and the Barbie swimming pool.
Julius: Ooh. Do you know how much all that stuff costs?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, Santa's gonna tell you. It costs 137 dollars and 16 cents. Do you have that kind of money?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, neither does Santa.
[the little girl starts crying]
Narrator: Welcome to my world, kid.
Julius: Did Martin Luther King, Jr. take a break? Did Moses take a break? Did Gandhi take a break?
Narrator: He took a break from eatin'!
Julius: You're supposed to get a hundred. You don't get a prize for doing well.
Narrator: My father never rewarded good behavior.
Chris: Dad, I cleaned the tub.
Julius: You're supposed to clean the tub. It's your dirt ring.
Tonya: Hey Dad, I fixed the heater.
Julius: You're supposed to fix the heater. You're the one who likes it warm.
Drew: Hey Dad, I slaughtered a pig.
Julius: You're supposed to slaughter a pig. You're the one who likes bacon.
Narrator: The only time my dad ever brought something new home was when it was old to everybody else.
Rochelle: I asked for a sewing machine. What the hell is this?
Julius: A loom.
Rochelle: What is that?
Julius: A stove.
Rochelle: If that's the stove, where's the witch? I asked for a car. What the hell is this?
Julius: A rickshaw. That's Rick.