Kirk Gleason Quotes (Page 2)
Taylor: Uh, in a second, Jess. Give him a taffy. I come to announce to one and all that the day we all thought would never get here has arrived.
Kirk: Arbor Day?
Taylor: No.
Kirk: The Day of Reckoning?
Taylor: No
Kirk: The Day the Music Died?
Taylor: Kirk.
Kirk: Give me a taffy.
Taylor: What?
Kirk: I've got a million of 'em. Give me a taffy!
Kirk: Well, ladies and gentlemen, much like the Israelites of Yore, the Stars Hollow Minutemen languished in the desert for forty years. But tonight, there was no Promised Land, no New Canaan, only a humiliating five to one defeat at the merciless hands of the West Hartford Wildcats. So it’s back to the desert for the Minutemen, perhaps for another 40 years. Of course, by then, I’ll be seventy years old. A lot of the rest of you will probably be dead. Taylor, you’ll be dead. Babette, Miss Patty ... that man there in the hat.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 10th, 2007 Kirk: We’re gonna have to rewrite that.
Miss Patty: What?
Kirk: It got no response. It needs a rewrite.
Miss Patty: Kirk, it’s my reminiscence. I can’t rewrite it.
Kirk: How about if she says, "Doll, you’ve got the gams, but I’ve got a body in the trunk of my car."
Miss Patty: Why would she say that?
Kirk: Because she’s a murderer. I think it works.
Miss Patty: I’m not rewriting my memories, Kirk.
Kirk: Oh, sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 9th, 2007 Luke: What’s the matter, Kirk?
Kirk: My trophy’s gone.
Luke: What?
Kirk: Someone took her.
Luke: Kirk.
Kirk: The last time I remember seeing her, she was next to me at the movies.
Luke: Stop calling it she.
Kirk: I retraced my steps all day and nothing. I suspect foul play.
Luke: Foul play?
Kirk: Kidnapping, possibly.
Kirk: Luke, where's your lost and found?
Luke: Out back in the dumpster.
Lorelai: Hey, Kirk, relax. Dancing is supposed to be fun.
Kirk: You know what will be fun Lorelai? Jogging around your prostrate body with the shinny temple of silver importance hoisted in the air for all to see. That will be fun.
Babette: You get dumped on, Taylor?
Taylor: It's not just me.
Luke: If anybody has a picture of Taylor being dumped on. I'll pay top dollar.
Kirk: I'll check the Internet.
Miss Patty: Ooh, ooh, a toast, everybody, a toast!
Kirk: Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests. Who owns the silver Volvo 'cause you're blocking me in?
Miss Patty: Well, it's better than the toast he made at the Ubromowitz wedding.
Kirk: I'm so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 8th, 2007
