Krusty the Clown Quotes (Page 2)
Krusty: Hey, Yutz! Guns aren't toys! They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face!
• Rating 4.3 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Krusty: Chan Ho, your mother Mia and I are getting a divorce.
Chin Ho: Chan Ho is over there. I am Chin Ho.
Krusty: Whoever you are, just pass it along, kid.
Maude: I don't think we're talking about love here. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that placed down!
Bart: Krusty's tired of having phonies pretending to be his friend. I'm sure he'll find plenty of people who'll like him for who he is.
Krusty: Uh... it could happen! Huh, who needs friends? All I need is the incessant beep of the global positioning system.
Krusty: And I maintain that those tourist were decapitated *before* they entered the Krustyland House of Knives. Next question.
Reporter: What about that little boy who got appendecitis from eating your cereal?
[Camera pans over to Bart, who stands with Lionel Hutz.]
Krusty: To prove that this metal O is harmless, I will personally eat one! (He does.) See, there's...(suddenly writhing in pain) Owwww! Oooh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides!
Sideshow Mel: Um, Krusty. That wasn't a metal one. That was a regular Krusty-O.
Krusty: (weakly) It's poison!
Krusty: Hey kids, it's story time! [laughs] I'm gonna tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new suit. His sexual harassment suit! [begins to laugh, groans] ...oh boy. Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain, he has a new court-ordered sidekick, Ms. No-Means-No! Whoa! You're hot! Let's get some dinner after the show!
[Ms. No Means No blows her whistle and brandishes her 'No' sign at Krusty.]
Krusty: But I have dinner with all my employees. Right, Sideshow Mel?
Mel: We've never spoken outside of work.
Bart: [watching on TV] I'm surprised he doesn't try to blame his problems on his Percodan addiction.
Krusty: [Back on the show] It wasn't my fault! It was the Percodan! If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor... [reads card] ...Percodan?! Ahh crap!
Krusty: (singing United States National Anthem) Oh say can you see, lalaladada...light. What so proudly we yah...lalaya...[crowd boos] Ooh, I knew I shouldn't have turned down those cue cards.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Krusty: You here for the trampoline?
Homer: Yeah. What's the deal?
Krusty: Well, I used to do a lot of tumbling in my act, but I'm phasing it out for more dirty limericks. There once was a man named 'Enis'...
Krusty: Every time you watch my show, I'll send you $40! [holds up check to audience].
Man: [quick voice-over] Checks will not be honored.
[Bart sees Krusty standing in the street holding a sign that says "will drop pants for food".]
Bart: Huh! Oh no! Krusty are you making any money?
Krusty: Nah, That guy's giving it away for free! [points]
Crazy old man: Old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...