Krusty the Clown Quotes (Page 3)
Krusty: (after viewing the bad Itchy & Scratchy episode) Eh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my a...hey-hey-hey-hey! Whoa! Wasn't that great, kids?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Krusty: And now it's time for my favorite part of the show! (reading cue card) Whazzat say? "Talk to the audience!?" Oh-ho God, this his always death! Alright!
[Krusty wanders through the crowd. He makes is way toward Ralph and Lisa.]
Lisa: (quietly) Oh, no! Please don't show me with Ralph!
Krusty: What's your name, young man?
Ralph: Ralph!
Lisa: Ohhhh....
Krusty: And is this your *girlfriend* Ralph?
Ralph: Yes! I love Lisa Simpson and when I grow up, I'm going to marry her!
Lisa: NNNNOOOOOOOOOO! Now you listen to me! I don't like you! I never liked you! And the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is because nobody else would!
[The action stops. Bart and Lisa are watching the incident on tape. Bart has the remote.]
Bart: Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the exact moment when his heart rips in half. Aaaaaannnnndddd....there!
Bart: Krusty, they fed us gruel, forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my god!!!
Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh my god!!!
Stage Director: You're on, Krusty.
Krusty: Boys and girls, let's just...[spotlight shifts as Krusty moves] I just want-[shifts again] Come on guys, I'm not doing the spotlight bit! [spotlight positions above Krusty] Let's all give a warm welcome to my father, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski. [Rabbi Krustofsky appears behind curtains to kids' cheers]
[Krusty gestures to orchestra]
Krusty: [sings] Oh mein papa, to me he was so wonderful. Oh mein papa, to me he was so good [gestures to Rabbi Hyman]. You know the words.
Krusty and Rabbi Krustofsky: No one could be, as gentle and so lovable, oh mein papa, he always understood! [to audience] We haven't seen each other in 25 YEARS!
Rabbi Krustofsky: I love you, son.
Krusty: I love you too, daddy. [Rabbi Krustofsky slams Krusty's face with a pie. Both then laugh and hug.]
[On TV, Krusty is leading the kids in singing the Mt. Splashmore Song.]
Krusty: I wanna go to Mt. Splashmore,
Take me, take me, take me, take me now!
Now now now now now!
Mt. Splashmore, take me there right now!
Lisa: This is a rather shameless promotion.
Bart: Hey, it worked on me!
Lisa: Me too!