Kyle Broflovski Quotes (Page 3)
Rabbi: And now, one of our fine young shlokas, Kyle Broflovski, has asked if he could speak to the congregation.
Kyle: Thank you, Rabbi. In 1973, the United States officially issued an apology to the African-American community for slavery. In 1956, Germany officially apologized for World War II AND the Holocaust. And now, I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community needs to apologize for the death of Jesus.
Kyle: I feel way better about being a Jew now that I know Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007 Kyle: People don't hate the Jews!
Cartman: Really? Three hundred million domestic box-office, Kyle. The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle. Those numbers don't lie. If you're not scared of The Passion then go see it. Go see it and tell me I'm wrong. Mel Gibson, Kyle. Mel Gibson.
Cartman: [Pretending he's retarded] Derrrr...derrrr...hey guys whats going on, derrrrrr?
[Long pause]
Kyle: God damn you.
Kyle: Hey AWESOM-O, I'd also like some celery sticks chopped up two inches long, with peanut butter and raisins on top.
Cartman: [as AWESOM-O] Suck my balls, Kyle.
Cartman: Alright, d**khole, time for you to pay! [realizes his powers don't work]Oh, no, I have no powers! Kyle took them away from me! Quick, Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villian!
Kyle: Okay, okay, you can have your powers back!
Cartman: Alright, now I use my powers to...turn Kyle into a chicken! BLAM!
Kyle: [is turned into a chicken] GODDAMNIT, CARTMAN!
Cartman: [sing-song voice] Ha ha ha ha ha-ha, now you are a chi-cken, nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh-nyeh...
Kyle: Okay,hang on guys, I'll use my special power to see into the future, and find out where we should head next.
Cartman: Hold on you guys, I actually have another power. I can see into the future too, but better than Kyle. Let me try...
Kyle: Goddamnit, Cartman, you can't keep making up powers!!
Stan: Yeah, dude, that's like the fifth power you've come up with!
Cartman: ...I am Bullrog, and I have lots and lots of powers.
Kyle: No, asshole! From now on you only get to have one power! So what is it?
Cartman: I have the power to have all the powers I want.
Kyle: That doesn't count, fatass!
Stan: Yeah, that's it, Cartman, now you don't get to have any powers!
Chef: Well, you children should be careful with those weapons, you could put somebody's eye out.
Kyle: Yeah, we know.
Kyle: Stop, dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!
Cartman: Go ahead and scramble it, then he won't remember it was us.
Cartman: You see guys, this is why Jews can't be ninjas. They've got no spine.
Kyle: You don't know anything about Jews, fatass!
Cartman: Oh yeah? My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie The Passion, and Mel Gibson says you are snakes, and you are liars. And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.
