Kyle Broflovski Quotes (Page 5)
Mr. Garrison: I was informed that fourth-graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.
Kyle: TWO-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat!
Mr. Garrison: But it's okay because I found a new teacher's assistant. Say hello to... Mr. Slave.
Mr. Slave: Hi kids. Hm.
Mr. Garrison: So that's Mr. Slave. The teacher's assistant. Or, as I like to write for short, the Teacher's Ass.
Cartman: (whispering to Craig) Yo, I think that Mr. Slave guy's a... Pakistani.
Cartman: Maybe the reason we're not getting to heaven is because one of us is a J-O-O.
Kyle: What does my being Jewish have to do with us not getting into Heaven?
Kyle: (awkwardly) You're such a fatass, Cartman.
Cartman: (just as awkwardly) At least I'm not a stupid Jew.
Sheila: WHATWHATWHAT!?
Cartman: (the boys are discussing who to kick out of their group) so Kyle, I want to tell you it's been very fun and we're gonna miss you.
Kyle: ME!? But I've been here from the beginning.
Cartman: And it's sad to see you go. Maybe you can make friends with the kids down the road. (Pulls out 2 containers containing a watch and peanuts) here's a watch and some peanuts. Three Cheers for Kyle, Hip hip...
Stan: (angrily) Dude, we're NOT kicking Kyle out.
Cartman: (Whining) Pleeeeaaaasssse?
Stan: No.
Cartman: Alright, then I guess we have no choice... (turns to Tweek) but to let you go, Tweek, I want to say you've been great filling in as a fourth friend and we're gonna miss you. (moves the watch and peanuts to Tweek's side) Here's a watch, and some peanuts.
Kyle: No way dude, Tweek's cool.
Stan: Yeah!
Cartman: Well, dumbasses, how are we gonna make room for Bebe?
Cartman: Yea, hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.
Kyle: No, dude, Spielberg changed terrorist to hippie to make ET more PC.
Stan: That's gay...
Kyle: Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 Cartman: [to a baby cow] Go ahead, that's more for us. You want some beef jerky, buddy? Yes, who's the buddy? Who's hungry? Who's the hungry man?
Kyle: Dude, that's messed up!
Kyle: This is terrible dude. Maury Povich parades these poor people around on his show like carnival freaks and then gives them prizes at the end as if to justify it. What a d**k!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007Kyle Broflovski: But what about Cartman?! He rips on ME for being Jewish! He's gonna tear THIS kid apart!!!!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 2nd, 2007 Photographer: Take off your hat, please?
Kyle: But I never take off my hat.
Photographer: Come on now, I bet your parents want a picture of YOU lookin' natural.
Kyle: This is how I look natural.
