Kyle Broflovski Quotes (Page 7)
Kyle: What I understand is that you two really screwed me over! Why should I have to listen to you?!
Gerald: (angrily) because we're your parents.
Kyle: (furiously)WELL I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE ANY PARENTS! (storms off)
Sheila: (shocked) KYLE!?
Stan: [after the fake Kenny suffocates in Miss Crabtree's uterus] Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Sort of.
Kyle: Yeah! They killed Kenny... 's look-alike. You bastards!
Kyle: How much?
Rancher: Fifty bucks.
Kyle: But you were just gonna take it out in the backyard and put a bullet in its head!
Rancher: I know! Now I gotta find somethin' else to shoot.
Stan: [walks up with Kyle and Kenny] Come on, fatass, we have to go!
Cartman: Ey! Don't call me fat! [Mrs.Cartman giggles] Mom, don't laugh.
Mrs.Cartman: I'm sorry, hon.
Cartman: [to his friends] I can't go with you guys right now.
Stan: Yes you can, porky. [Mrs.Cartman giggles again]
Cartman: Mom, seriously! [her giggles die down]
Mrs.Cartman: Oh, that's not funny, boys. Eric isn't fat, his big-boned.
Kyle: He must have a huge bone in his ass, then. [Cartman's mom bursts out laughing]
Cartman: GODDAMNIT MOM!
Cartman: Hey you guys! You know what time of year it is?
Kyle: Of course, dumbass, it's Halloween.
Cartman: That's right, and that means only two more months till Christmas! (singing) You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry...
Stan: Christmas?
Cartman: ...Christmastime is presents for me.
Kyle: He doesn't get cake!?
Moses: No cake for the impurity!
Gerald: You see, Kyle, we live in a liberal, democratic society. And democrats make sexual harrassment laws. These laws tell us what we can and can't say in the workplace, and what we can and can't do in the workplace.
Kyle: Isn't that fascism?
Gerald: No, because we don't call it fascism. Do you understand?
Kyle: Do you?
Cartman: I'm gonna be Jesus!
Kyle: You're too fat to be Jesus!
Cartman: Oh, and like you're gonna do it, Jew?!
Kyle: Stan should be Jesus.
Cartman: Either I'm Jesus, or else, screw you guys, I'm going home!
Kyle: You're such a fat baby!
Cartman: Well, I guess you guys can do the Stations of the Cross by yourselves.
Kyle: All right, all right, you could be Jesus, you tubby cry-baby!
Cartman: Stick and stones may break my bones, but I'm Jesus and you aren't.
Priest Maxi: Good. Boys, how would you like to perform the Stations of the Cross this Friday night?
Stan: The what?
Priest Maxi: It's like a skit, where you reeanct the death and glorious resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Kyle: Hey, res-erection! That's what my dad needs!
Kyle: So Jesus died and then three days later he had an erection.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 31st, 2007
