Larry David Quotes (Page 5)
Dana: I notice this is a GT and the brochure says there's a model called the GTS. Now what is the difference between the GT and the GTS?
Larry: Okay, the GTS is "guaranteed tremendous saftey."
Dana: So, without the "S," it's just "guaranteed tremendous"?
Larry: Uh..
Barbara: You know, this morning, you're gonna love this: I saw a whale breach. I've never seen that here before, it's very rare!
Larry: Can you shoot the whales from the terrace?
Barbara: What?
Larry: Because I like to have blubber for breakfast.
Larry: I can't wait to call my parents. They are gonna be so proud of me! When I tell my father I figured out out that navigation system, he's gonna flip his wig! And he's got one too!
Cheryl: Can we turn on the radio?
Larry: Oh, he's gonna be very proud of Larry figuring out the navigation system!
Cheryl: Please.
Larry: "Daddy, I'm not so stupid!"
Richard: Dr. Grambs, this is my friend, Larry David.
Larry: Hi, how you doing?
Richard: He's my dermatologist.
Larry: Really?
Richard: Yeah, for what, fifteen years already?
Larry: Even with the whole affirmative action thing?
Jeff: That's called "Indian giving".
Larry: Yes, I know what it's called. It's a very racist term but I'm okay with that.
Larry: Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick!
Jeff: It's what she thinks. What can I say? Sweet dreams.
Larry: "Sweet dreams". I'll dream about f**king your mother. "Sweet dreams".
Jeff: You gotta go.
Larry: What?
Jeff: You gotta go.
Larry: The hell are you talking about?
Jeff: You copped a feel off my mom, you gotta go.
Cheryl's dad: "Devoted sister, beloved c**t"?! That's what you put in the paper?!
Larry: This is a typo! It should be aunt!
Cheryl: Did Jeff look at this before he turned it in?
Larry: They have proofreaders at papers!
Larry: [stuffing fruit in his mouth] How many do you think I can get in my mouth at a time?
• Vote for this Quote! • September 12th, 2007 Jeff: How did she die?
Larry: Killed herself.
Jeff: No, she didn't.
Larry: Killed herself.
Jeff: Why?
Larry: Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note. That is so rude, isn't it?
Jeff: That's really rude.
Larry: I mean, if you leave your house for ten minutes to go get a container of milk, you tell somebody where you went.
Jeff: I let my wife know before I go anywhere.
Larry: Yeah. Would it have killed her to leave a note?
