Lisa Simpson Quotes
Marge: Oh hi kids, you're just in time to go to the dentist!
Bart: DENTIST?! You said we were going to ride dirt bikes around the cemetery!
Lisa: Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months.
Homer: [Pulls up on a dirt bike] Hey, suckers, check it out -- Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery!
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: [solemnly] Why the cemetery, I wondered? But my dreams were too strong...
Bart: Lisa, are you a secure line?
Lisa: I am. You're using a Bluetooth, the most vulnerable communications device known to man!
Bart: But it looks so cool! Listen, there's a mole inside CTU.
Lisa: A MOLE?
Bart: Yes, now I don't have much time so I'm just gonna come out and say his name. So get ready to know his name. His name is the following. M- [Martin knocks Bart unconscious with a French horn and drags him away singing Skip to my Lou]
Lisa (angrily): You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore, and judging by how tight they are, I'm never going to be anyone else's either.
Lisa: I'm proud of you, Mom. You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Lisa: Assistant Groundskeeper Skinner, don't you think it's wrong that I can't get the best math education because I'm a girl?
Skinner: [sighs] I don't have any opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, and everyone is the best at everything.
Homer: I'm so bored that I have figured out where the wallpaper pattern repeats. See it goes ships wheel, Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat, fish with boobs and back to ships wheel.
Lisa: What about this swordfish?
Homer: Oh my life's work ruined!
Lisa: Grampa, I think you should give up the bullfighting.
Abe: Forget it! I'd look pretty stupid in this outfit walking around fighting oysters.
Lisa: It's so strange that the commissioner [of football] didn't show up.
Homer: Maybe he's thinking of a new shape for the football.
Homer: Left below, where have I heard that before.
Lisa: Dad, it's the title of the movie.
Homer: It's everywhere.
Lisa (to Homer): I can't believe you stood Mom up!
Bart: Face it, Lis--men are dogs. The worse we treat you, the more you want us.
Lisa: That's not what dogs do.
Bart (laughing): You said "dog doo"! You said "dog doo"!
Homer: (laughing)) She sure did!
