Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 11)
Lisa: Do you remember why you entered me in the pageant?
Homer: I dunno. Was I drunk?
Lisa: Possibly.
[In the play, Marge is suspended in midair and is swooping around the stage.]
Bart: Cool! She can fly!
Lisa: I think it's supposed to symbolize her descent into madness.
[in her letter home from camp] Our arts and crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian work house.
Jimbo: [at the arts and crafts center] Come on, wimps. These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Friday.
Lisa: [in her letter home from camp] Dear Mom and Dad: I no longer fear Hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 Lisa: Before I go to camp, I'll need boosters for malaria, German measles, encephalitis, Hansen's disease...
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, now I'm afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria. There's only one known cure, a wowwipop. [laughs]
Lisa: Don't patronize me, doctor.
Lisa: Why didn't you write, Unckie Herb?
Herb: Hey, if I wrote to you, what was I supposed to say? "Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow, thanks to your pop"?
Lisa: I see your point.
Lisa: Dad, do you know what today is?
Homer: The vernal equinox?
Lisa: No! It's been two weeks since you got that tape. Let's get you on the scale! [Homer gets on the scale] You've gained thirteen pounds.
Homer: Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery! A pox on them! [discards tape]
Lisa: According to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is suddenly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.
Lisa: Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young. I haven't decided.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007 Bart: Hey, Lis. Suppose I'm writing a second letter to a girl and I already used up my "A" material. What should I say?
Lisa: Ooooh, could it be there's a special someone you're not telling me about? Who is she, Bart? Is it Sherri?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it Terri?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it that girl with the lazy-eye patch?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it that foreign exchange student, Mx!pa?
Bart: No! It's...homework.
Lisa: Yeah, right! "Hey, Bart! Let's do some 'homework!'"
[Lisa makes kissy faces at Bart until he shoves her over.]