Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 12)
Lisa: Mom, Bart's making faces at me.
Bart: It's a nervous twitch, and I'm a little sensitive about it, if you don't mind.
Lisa: But what about Daddy-Daughter Day?
Homer: Don't worry, the football season's just eight months away.
Lisa: So that's it. You just needed me so I can help you gamble. You never wanted to be with me at all!! [storms out of dining room]
Marge: You're a very selfish man.
Lisa: Why isn't Dad ever interested in anything I do?
Marge: Well, um, do you ever take an interest in anything he does?
Lisa: No. ... Well, we used to have burping contests, but I outgrew it.
Lisa: Did you hear that, Maggie? Another baby in the house.
Bart: Oh, cool! We can race 'em!
Homer: Oh, sure! For you, a baby's all fun and games. For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings!
Lisa: Doesn't Mom do that stuff?
Homer: Yeah, but I have to hear about it.
Bart: Hey, Homer, why's Mom going to the doctor?
Lisa: Is anything wrong?
Homer: No, everything's fine. Your mother uh just... broke her leg.
Lisa: What!?
Bart: I smell a bun in the oven...
Lisa: Is Mom going to have another baby, Dad?
Homer: [nervously] Maybe.
Bart+Lisa: Whoa, alright! Way to go! [exchange high fives]
Bart: You're a machine, Homer!
[Lisa calls Homer on the phone.]
Lisa: Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Homer: Uh, isn't this the kind of thing your mother's better at?
Lisa: I called her. She's not home. I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy, and that nice man who caught the snake in our basement.
Homer: Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.
Lisa: There is a big dumb animal I love even more than that horse.
Homer: Oh no! What is it? A hippopotamus?
Lisa: No... I mean you, you big dummy.
Lisa: All the years I have lobbied to be treated like an adult have blown up in my face.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 12th, 2007 Bart: [writing a card] "To me bestest bud, Milhouse. Happy Birthday. Bart."
Lisa: Bart, that's so sweet. May I see the card? [reading from the card] "Hey there, ten-year-old! I couldn't afford to get you a new drum..." [opens the card, revealing a picture of a well-endowed woman] "...so how about a nice pair of bongos." Ewww...
Lisa: Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is?
Homer: [sarcastic] No, I do not know what schadenfreude is, please tell me because I am dying to know.
Lisa: It's a German word for shameful joy, taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel...what's the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?
Lisa: Sour grapes.
Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.