Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 14)
Lisa: [reading pamphlet] "Do not feed the animals. Do not allow animals inside the car. Do not make eye contact with animals."
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Marge: Mmm, Lisa, you don't look well.
Lisa: I'll make it, Mom. Just tape my lunchbox to my hand.
Bart: No way, she's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
Lisa: If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.
Bart: Fine, then... Wait a minute... If Lisa goes to school, then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home, so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...
Marge: Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that.
Lisa: His life was an unbridled success. Until he found out he was a Simpson.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Lisa: So, even if a man takes a loaf of bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?
Rev. Lovejoy: Mmm...no. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Lisa: I see.
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, come now, Lisa. You came here for a reason. Is your father stealing bread?
Lisa: Maybe. I don't watch him every minute.
Lisa:: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?
Lisa: But Mom, if you take our cartoons away, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots!
Bart: Really? What kind of robots?
Homer: Bart! Stop fighting with your sister!
Bart: She took my glue!
Lisa: It's not yours, Bart. This is family glue!
Homer: Stop it, you two. This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and then no one will have any glue to glue with.
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah? Prove it.
Lisa: [hands him the glue] Here.
Bart: Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
Lisa: [writing a poem]
I saw the best meals of my generation
Destroyed by the madness of my brother.
My soul carved in slices
By spiky-haired demons.
Marge: [grumbling] Uhhh... My best dress. (Bart laughs)
Lisa: Why do I get the feeling that one day I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?
Homer:: Listen to 'em laughing. This is so humiliating. I'm never going to live this down. Damn Flanders!!!!
Flanders: [laughing] You know, Simpson, I feel kinda silly but, what the hey, you know. It kinda reminds me of my good old fraternity days.
Homer: D'OH!!!! Oh my God, he's enjoying it!