Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 3)
Lisa: (When Homer attacks the water heater) Dad, that's a water heater.
Homer: Well, I am missing the back of my head, I think you can cut me some slack.
Lisa: (reading from the computer) Well, according to WhatBadgersEat.com badgers subsist primarily on a diet of stoats, voles and marmots.
Bart: (looking in the kitchen cabinet) Stoats... Stoats...
Lisa: Bart, you won't find stoats in a can.
Bart: (holding a can) Then what's this?
Lisa: It says corn, Bart.
Bart: Must you embarrass me?
Homer: [siting on a floating couch] Well you gotta hand it to those dolphins, they just wanted it more.
Lisa: I kinda wished I hadn't freed their leader and you know, doomed mankind.
Marge: Well I wouldn't say doomed, it's gonna be an adjustment, but- [Krusty's floating corpse floats by the couch] Uuuuugh! [kicks away the corpse]
Bart: You're not going to believe it, Lis. This cool Indian guy showed me our future.
Lisa: Really? Anything good?
Bart: I'll say! I've got my own band, and a moped.
Lisa: What about me?
Bart: Eh, some government job.
Lisa Simpson: You're too much, Bart. That's why I'm appointing you Secretary of Keeping it Real.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 28th, 2007 Milhouse van Houten: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie... okay, we could call it a "temporary refund adjustment."
Lisa Simpson: I love it.
Milhouse van Houten: Really? What else do you love, Lisa?
Lisa Simpson: Fiscal solvency.
Milhouse van Houten (heartbroken): Uh, me too.
Bart Simpson: What happened to you Lisa? You used to be cool.
Lisa Simpson: No I didn't.
Marge: Hawaii, here we come!
Lisa: No, no! We're going to Paris, I can feel it!
Bart: Come on, Transylvania!
Homer: No, mon, let's go home to Jamaica! I and I been in Babylon too long.
PA: Attention. Flight 605 to Tokyo is ready for departure, and has four available mega-savers seats.
Marge: Come on, Homer - Japan!
Homer: No, no Japan, Jamaica! I want to pass the dutchie on the left-hand side!
Lisa: Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!
Homer: Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called "News Corp"...
Lisa: Dad! That's Fox!
Homer: AAHH! Undo! Undo!
Homer: Wow they've captured my personality perfectly! Did you see the way daddy caught that bullet?
Lisa: That's not really you Dad, that's just a fictional character who happens to have the same name as you...
Homer: ....Don't confuse daddy Lisa.