Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 4)
Homer: Stupid Isotopes. Hurry up and lose so we can get outta here!
Lisa: Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad?
Homer: Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything.
Lisa: Even you?
Homer: Especially me.
Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 27th, 2007 Homer: This is a very, very proud day for us! Especially me, your father, me, beat City Hall! It's just like David and Goliath, only this time, David won!
Lisa's Brain: Oh, I know, I heard it too. Here's some music. [Beethoven's "Für Elise" plays.]
Homer: Does this make me look fat?
Lisa: No, it makes you look like a tool of government oppression.
Homer: But not fat?
Kent Brockman: Well sir, "treason season" started early this year, as a nuclear sub was hijacked my local man Homer Simpson. (backdrop shows photo of Homer dressed in a Cossack outfit performing the Cossack dance)
Marge: Oh my god!
Lisa: I told him that photo would come back to haunt him.
Marge: It's so late. You kids have to go to bed.
Bart: But the flood's only knee high. At least let us watch till the midgets drown.
Lisa: Yeah, Mom. Come on. You let us stay up to watch Troy McClure in such other Bible epics as David Versus Super-Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper.
Bart: Go, Lise. Way to cite precedent. [Bart and Lisa high-five]
Homer: [singing] Alright, Marge, you've convinced me there are more terrible things, than musical comedies where everyone sings...
Lisa: [singing] There is something worse...
Bart: [singing] And it really does blow...
All: [singing] When a long-running series... does a cheesy clip show!
Lisa: Ugh! I wish I'd never found those stupid bones! It's time to put an end to this. Bart, I'm borrowing your blue crowbar.
Bart: Good ol' Blue-y.
Marge: Hey, she's gonna smash the angel!
Homer: Somebody stop her!
Lisa: [walks into garage, turns on the light] [Gasps] It's gone!
Homer: [weeping] Oh, no! This can't be happening! What the hell are we gonna do with 10,000 angel ashtrays? [sobbing]
Bart: I could take up smoking.
Homer: You damn well better.
Lisa: Principal Skinner, remember how I didn't sue when I found that scorpion in my applesauce? Well, I'm calling in a favor.
Principal Skinner: Mmm. I knew this day would come. [Over PA system] Attention. All honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archeological dig!
(Martin, Sherri, and Terri cheer, Sherri and Terri high-five)
Principal Skinner: Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archeological dig.
Bart, Milhouse, and Nelson: ...Oh, no! Not tomorrow!... ...Oh, crud....
Lisa: Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, dad?
Homer: Sure thing, honey.
[Homer fires, and the ball falls down and deflates upon hitting the ground.]
Homer: You want me to get the cat down?
Lisa: [quickly] No thanks!