Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 5)
Bart: Hey, Homer, can I use the teleporter?
Homer: Sorry, but this is a highly sophisti-ma-cated doo-wacky. If you don't use it responsibly, KABLAMO! [punches fists in the air, one of them goes into the teleporter]
Lisa: Ow! Someone just punched me in the face!
Lisa: [being chased through the house by FlyBart] Dad, Bart's trying to kill me!
Homer: Lisa, nobody likes a tattletale.
Lisa: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Bart: Not if you called 'em stench blossoms.
Homer: Or crapweeds.
Marge: I'd sure hate to get a dozen crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
Homer: Not if they were called scumdrops.
Lisa: So, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph?
Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?
Lisa: Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines.
Ralph: Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.
Lisa: And he survived to make it back to Springfield, where he became the fine educator we salute tonight.
Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.
Bart: So, that's my plan. I'm gonna break in to the blind man's yard and swipe the dog.
Lisa (disapprovingly): Bart, that is a new low.
Bart: Hey, I'm not saying it's going to be a dance around the maypole.
Lisa (arms crossed): Well, I won't tell Mom and Dad, but only because I want the dog back. Just try not to freak out the blind man.
Bart: I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.
Lisa: Hey, this park is great! How come we never take Santa's Little Helper here?
Homer: Crowds give him gas.
Homer: Son, maybe it’s the concussion talking, but any way you choose to live your life is okay with me.
Bart: Huh?
Lisa: [whispers] He thinks you’re gay.
Bart: He thinks I’m gay?!
Bart: It's back to the basics, classic Itchy & Scratchy.
Lisa: We should thank our lucky stars that they're still putting on a program of this caliber after so many years.
Bart: What else is on?
Lisa: Do you think we'll ever see her again?
Homer: I'm sure we will, honey. [Shary is sucked into a passing plane's jet engine] I'm sure we will.
Bart: [talking about Homer's figure in the lighthouse light] Hey Lis! Is that dad?
Lisa: Either that or Batman's really let himself go.