Liz Lemon Quotes (Page 3)
Jack: Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Liz: No, Jack. I don't want to learn about negotiation. I just want Josh to stay. The show needs him.
Jack: Lesson number one: you don't need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.
Jenna: Liz, I'm just worried that I'm going to sound like I don't know what I'm talking about.
Liz: Would Sharon Stone worry about that?
Liz: Why did you tell the reporter that you hate the troops?
Jenna: What? I didn't say I hate the troops.
Liz: Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007 Jack: He is not your friend, he's your opponent. He's going to try to grab all the marbles and it's our job to hide them.
Liz: That's not how you play marbles, Jack.
Jack: But that's how you keep them.
Liz: [as she tries to crawl out inconspicuously and gets caught] This would work on Ugly Betty.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 12th, 2007Liz: [on the phone] Hi, my name is Liz Lemon and I received flowers from your shop tonight and I can't tell who they're from. [pause] No, no, I did read the card but it's not signed.... no, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess... well, that is just... oh, well you know what, I found the card, actually, they're from your mom, so tell your gay mom I said thanks! [hangs up]
• Vote for this Quote! • July 12th, 2007 Angie: [To Tracy] This is the second-worst Valentine's day we ever had!
Liz: Hi, is Mr. Donaghy here?
Angie: [to Jack] Another prostitute?
Jack: Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.
Liz: I'm 12 years younger than you.
Jack: A woman your age then.
Jack: I had "lunch" with Martha Stewart and "dinner" with her daughter Alexis.
Liz: Gross.
