Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 10)
Lois Griffin: Okay, I'm going out.
Brian Griffin: Where are you going?
Lois Griffin: To my...uh...uh, garden club.
Brian Griffin: It's 10:30 at night. And you have a saddle.
Lois Griffin: Well... it's a... I... um... [takes out a ball] What's this? What's this, Brian, huh? What's this, huh?
Brian Griffin: It's a ball.
Lois Griffin: Oh, is this your ball? You want it? Huh? You want this? Huh?
Brian Griffin: Yes, I would like-I would like it, please, yes.
Lois Griffin: Yeah, you want this? Huh? You want the ball?
Brian Griffin: Yes, I would like to have it very much.
Lois Griffin: You want it? Huh? You want the ball?
Brian Griffin: Yes-yes, I would enjoy having it, yes. Give it to me.
Lois Griffin: GO GET IT!!!
Brian Griffin: I-I'm sorry, Lois. I was mistaken. I thought you threw the ball in there, but I can see now you still have it.
James Woods: Man, what a great lunch, Lois. Thank you so much for having me over.
Lois Griffin: Well, it's not often we get to meet celebrities.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, except when I was Christina Aguilera's manager.
[cutaway to Christina Aguilera singing scales and making random movements. Peter walks in]
Peter Griffin: Okay, l-l-let me just go ahead and stop you right there. You sound terrible, alright? Y-y-you're doing this thing, which is just, you know... w-what the hell is that? I mean, a-and if you look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky, and frankly, you smell bad. You're pretty much offensive to all five senses.
Christina Aguilera: That's only four.
Peter Griffin: Well, a-actually, you know when you smell something and it gets stuck in there, and you can sort of taste it? Yeah. Well, I'm-I'm tasting you right now, and it tastes awful. Truly disgusting, like salty garbage.
Meg Griffin: Will you guys stop fighting, please?!
Chris Griffin: What's wrong with Meg?
Lois Griffin: Oh, nothing, it's just her time of the month.
Sheep: Not again!
Lois Griffin: [reading paper] Oh, this is wonderful! Look at this, Peter! [gesturing toward story of the renaming of James Wood High]
Peter Griffin: [reading off headline] 200 die in train derailment? Oh, God, Lois, that is morbidly obese.
Lois Griffin: Dinner's almost ready, kids!
Peter Griffin: Wow, Lois, look at you! You're like Britney Spears! Except you're not a fat guy. [doorbell rings]
Lois Griffin: I'll get it!
Meg Griffin: Dad. How could you be okay with Mom parading herself around like this? I mean, she's half naked! It makes all women look bad.
Peter Griffin: Meg...who let you back in the house?
Lois Griffin: I'm gonna become a model!
Peter Griffin: Hey, that's fantastic Lois, and I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris Griffin: Me too!
Meg Griffin: Me too!
Peter Griffin: Oh, oh God, Meg, that's sick! That's your mother!
Meg Griffin: I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter Griffin: Get out! Get out of this house! [punches a hole in the wall] I said NOW!
Lois Griffin: Hey everybody. Wait til you see this.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God! Movable printed type. We must keep this from the serfs, lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry.
Serf: What have you got there, my lord?
Peter Griffin: Nothing! Back to your turnips!
Meg Griffin: Wow! This looks just like my room at home.
Lois Griffin: Yeah, except for all the trophies and pictures of friends...
Stewie Griffin: Hmm, that's the second most impressive trophy I've ever seen.
[cut to Stewie presenting a Grammy award]
Stewie Griffin: And the Grammy for Album of the Year goes to... Justin Timberlake. [Justin Timberlake walks up, waving to the cheering audience. Stewie hits him with the Grammy, knocking him out] Ha! It actually goes to Nelly... Nelly.
Lois Griffin: Joe, you're too heavy. I can't hang on!
Joe Swanson: Pretend I'm your child, Lois! [Lois starts to loosen her grip] NOT MEG! NOT MEG!
Brian Griffin: Hey, is that ham? I thought you put that back.
Lois Griffin: Oh, um, no, I put the other ham back.
Brian Griffin: I don't remember another ham.
Lois Griffin: Heh. Well, you were too busy eyeballing that Redbook with Glenn Close on the cover.
Brian Griffin: Hey! She is a handsome woman.
Stewie Griffin: Well, well, look who's carrying a little flame for Glenn Close. What a surprise. Although, it's not the first time you've suprised me.
[cut away]
Brian Griffin: [wearing Lois' clothes] "Ooh, I have so much stuff to do today. I have to do laundry, then I have a piano lesson, then I have to make dinner; I'm so busy. Better hurry!"
Stewie Griffin: Lois! I want my graham cracker... oh.