Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 12)
Lois Griffin: All right, kids. Now everyone stay together. It's very important to your father that we're here for his band's first performance.
Director: The people who beat you are proud to present, all the way from Quahog: "Fat, Horny, Black and Joe."
Peter Griffin: Hello, Cleveland!
Cleveland Brown: Hello, Peter.
Glenn Quagmire: One, Two, Three, Four!
Peter Griffin: Oh my god, we don't know any songs.
Audience: You suck! Get off the stage!
Lois Griffin: Peter take a look at your daughter.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, Lois, I'm sorry, it was 15 years ago, I'd never even heard the word rubber.
Lois Griffin: Peter, this is Meg!
Meg Griffin: I got a makeover, Dad! Don't I look great?
Peter Griffin: Oh Meg, honey, I always thought you were beautiful just the way you- Oh God, couldn't do that with a straight face!
Meg Griffin: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois Griffin: Oh, of course not, sweetie.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg Griffin: Craig Hoffman.
Peter Griffin: Craig H-Craig Hoffman said that? Well, he's a sharp kid; you might be ugly.
Lois Griffin: Well, well, look who's here.
Peter Griffin: Alright, alright, look, I know an apology is due here, so Lois, tell Quagmire you're sorry you had him arrested.
Lois Griffin: Excuse me? He's the one who owes me an apology. He was watching me go to the bathroom!
Peter Griffin: Well, clearly he thinks you're attractive, Lois. It's a positive thing. [to Quagmire] Thank you, Glenn, for complimenting our family.
Loretta Brown: We have had it with his disrespect for women. We're petitioning the city to have him removed from the neighborhood.
Bonnie Swanson: Yeah, I don't want to bring a new baby into the world with him running around.
Peter Griffin: Ok first of all, Bonnie you've been pregnant for like 6 years, all right. Either have the baby or don't. Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy. He's just a little mixed up ... [the chicken from Da Boom attacks Peter, who comes back, panting]
Peter Griffin: Sorry about that. Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy, you know? He's just a little mixed up, that's all.
Peter Griffin: You know, Lois, Chris is cool and everything, but, eh, since he killed that guy, uh, I don't know. Maybe he shouldn't be living with us here now.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm scared!
Peter Griffin: Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll have plenty of time to escape while he's killing Meg. He hates her the most.
Lois Griffin: No, wait a minute! I can't call the police! I have to get rid of this body, or Chris'll go to prison! And we all know what happens in those prison showers. I've seen Oz.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Lois Griffin: So, Chris, how's the latest with your little girlfriend?
Chris Griffin: Oh, I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all.
Lois Griffin: Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?
Peter Griffin [ignoring Lois and Chris]: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher!
Meg Griffin: Ew, gross!
Stewie Griffin: You know what else is gross? [tries to force a fart but his right eye turns red] Ahh, broke a damn blood vessel!
[on Mt. Rushmore]
Lois Griffin: OH, PETER!
Peter Griffin: YES!
George Washington: Hey, hey, Jefferson, check it out! Chick getting nailed on my head.
Thomas Jefferson: Sweet. Hey Teddy, pass the word down to Frankenstein.
Abraham Lincoln: Oh. Ha ha.
Lois Griffin: Honey, whadaya say we, uh, christen these new sheets, huh?
Peter Griffin: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl!
Lois Griffin: That's me!
Peter Griffin: You dirty hustler!
Lois Griffin: [laughs]
Peter Griffin: You filthy, stinky prostitute!
Lois Griffin: [annoyed] Ok, I get it.
Peter Griffin: You foul, venereal disease-carrying, street walking whore!
Lois Griffin: All right, that's enough!
Peter Griffin: Everybody, I've got bad news. We've been cancelled.
Lois Griffin: Oh no! Peter, how could they do that?
Peter Griffin: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, FreakyLinks, Wanda at Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal, Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The $treet, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Luis, and Greg the Bunny.
Lois Griffin: Is there no hope?
Peter Griffin: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.
