Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 15)
Lois Griffin: Hey, why don't you take Joe along?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, Lois. That'll be about as much fun as a lecture on ontological empiricism.
Lois Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: What?
Lois Griffin: Before you sit down, we're due at Joe and Bonnie's for egg nog.
Peter Griffin: Oh, Lois, can't we tell them your mother died?
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter Griffin: Alright, alright, I'll kill your mother. God, when did Chrismas become so complicated?
Lois Griffin: Brian, you're not wearing the sweater I made you.
Brian Griffin: Uh, w-well, it's a little warm in here...
Lois Griffin: "Don we now our gay apparel."
Brian Griffin: Doesn't get much gayer than this.
Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, come in here and see what I did with the money your dad gave me.
Lois Griffin: [gasps] Oh, my God! You turned the den into Pee Wee's Playhouse?
Peter Griffin: [Singing] Come on, get up! Knock off your napping. It's a crazy, messed-up place where anything can happen. There's a chair that freakin' talks. Hey look! There's some fish that give advice. Holy crap! It's screwy, In Peter's Playhouse! Hehehe!
Lois Griffin: Peter...
Peter Griffin: W-w-wait. Watch this, watch this. Hey, Jambi! Okay, say it.
Brian Griffin: Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka-hiney... God, I hate you so much.
Lois Griffin: Peter, that reparation money should be going to a worthy black charity.
Peter Griffin: Lois, the king of cartoons will be here in 5 minutes and I will not have you embarrass me.
Lois Griffin: You're acting ridiculous! [Sirens begin wailing, "Ridiculous" flashes on-screen]
Peter Griffin: AAAHHH! You said the secret word!
Lois Griffin: Daddy, please stop this. Brian has every right to see his puppies when they're born.
Carter Pewterschmidt: Sorry, pumpkin.
Lois Griffin: I had no idea you could be so cruel. I'll never forgive you for this.
Carter Pewterschmidt: Ah, you'll be fine. You're just having your period.
[Lois walks into the bathroom to find Brian masturbating over canine porn, "Kinky Canine Co-eds," then leaves fast]
Lois Griffin: Oh, my God Was... was he just mastu-?
Peter Griffin: Yes!
Lois Griffin: Oh, my.
Peter Griffin: Do we... do we rub his nose in it?
Lois Griffin: Peter, would you please fix the bathroom faucet?
Peter Griffin: I fixed it already.
Lois Griffin: No, you didn't. It's still dripping.
Peter Griffin: No way! I will give you all my Star Wars guys if it is. W-w-wait. Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man.
Answering Machine: You have 113 new messages.
Lois Griffin: Oh, my!
Herbert: Uh, yeah, I was just wonderin', uh... where the newspaper boy was. [beep] Haven't seen the newspaper in a couple of days, wonderin' if he ever gonna come back. [beep] Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here, thinkin' 'bout the muscley-armed paper boy, wishin' he'd come by and bring me some good news. [beep] Where are you? [beep] Aw, you're startin' to piss me off you little pigly sumbitch. Call me!
Lois Griffin: Oh, what's that smell?
Brian Griffin: It's either bad meat or good cheese.
Lois Griffin: STEWIE! Bad boy, that's Mommy's makeup! Oh, and you got it all over your father's favorite shirt, now go to your room!
Brian Griffin: Wow, the evidence is really piling up...
Stewie Griffin: Make any joke you want, you know I look good.
