Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 16)
Peter Griffin: Oh, my God!
Lois Griffin: What? What?!
Peter Griffin: It's a beautiful baby girl.
Carol Pewterschmidt: Ooh, a baby girl. I'm so happy.
Peter Griffin: [gasps] But she has a penis! Well, we'll have to do something about that!
Lois Griffin: Peter, no! It's a boy!
Lois Griffin: Don't worry, Carol. We're almost there. Peter, why are we stopped?
Peter Griffin: [to drive-thru window] Um, yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers.
Lois Griffin: Peter! For God's sake, she's having a baby!
Peter Griffin: Oh, that's right... a-and a kids' meal. And, uh, I-I guess I'll have fries. If I have fries is anybody else gonna have any? 'Cause, you know, I... I don't want to be the only one eating them. I'll feel like a fatty.
Peter Griffin: Hey, uh, Carol. Since Ted left ya', can I wear his shirt?
Lois Griffin: Peter, why would want to wear Ted's shirts? He's half your size.
Peter Griffin: I know, now let me try something. Carol, say to me, "David Banner, I just slashed your tires."
Carol Pewterschmidt: "David Banner, I just slashed your tires." [Peter rips through Ted's shirt and screams like the Incredible Hulk]
Peter Griffin: Ehehehehehehe, I'm priceless.
Lois Griffin: But you can't quit jousting. The big meet is today, and I thought you were...
Peter Griffin: [laughs] Did, did you just say, "big meet"?
Lois Griffin: Oh my God, I did!
Meg Griffin: Has Dad found a permanent job yet?
Lois Griffin: Meg, your father's going through a bit of a career transition. He's just sampling a few things, searching for something that fits him just right.
[Lois stops the car to see Peter dressed as a female prostitute at a street corner]
Brian Griffin: Well, clearly, it's not that tube top.
Peter Griffin: Hey! Looking for a good time, sweet cheeks?
Meg Griffin: Oh. My God.
Lois Griffin: Peter, get in the car!
Peter Griffin: OK, but it will cost you! What do you want, a Cleveland Steamer?
Lois Griffin: I said get in the car. What's a "Cleveland Steamer"?
Brian Griffin: It means that he'll-
Peter Griffin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, be cool, be cool.
Lois Griffin: Peter, Calm down, everything's gonna be fine.
Peter Griffin: I hope so. 'Cause if I blow this, I'm gonna have to go back to my old job at The Electric Company.
Psychologist: Does Stewart have a history of aggression?
Lois Griffin: No, no, hitting Peter is the first violent thing he's ever done.
Stewie Griffin: Well, technically the first act of violence was that time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!
Lois Griffin: Oh, the Drunken Clam? Why couldn't we go someplace fancy like The Olive Garden? Oh, the bread sticks. Me likey bread sticks! Me likey- [to herself] You're a big girl now. Stop it!
Peter Griffin [to a man]: Excuse me, New Yorker. I think you're in my seat, and I had sex with your mother last night.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you crazy?
Man: What did you say?
Peter Griffin: Oh, about the seat, or about my plowing your father's wife? [Lois beats the guy up]
Lois Griffin [to Peter]: What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin [to another man]: Excuse me. Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you... very homosexually.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I am not a sideshow attraction, at least not anymore.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Lois Griffin: I can't believe your father organized this. Usually he can't even handle simple tasks.
[cut to the living room. On the lamp, there's a diaper where the light bulb should be]
Lois Griffin: Peter, why is there a diaper in the lamp socket?
Stewie Griffin: [walks in naked with light bulb in ass] Ah! Lois, he's done it again! Wait a minute...
