Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 19)

Dysfunctional Family

Lois: Peter, did you post a new picture of yourself on our wedding picture?
Peter: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Lois: You posted it over me!!
Peter: Yeah, I think it looks better.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: Peter, wake up! Our son is covered in fleas!
Peter: That's nothing! When I was a kid, I was covered in ticks!
Lois: This isn't a competition!
Peter: It was back then. (Glances over at trophy, "Most Ticks 1965.")

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: What kind of egotistical, selfish, moronic and idiotic person would get liposuction... Who? WHO?
(Peter walks in at half of his weight)
Stewie: Oh my God... It has finally happened, he has become so massive that he collapsed into himself like a neutron star.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: I am not a crazy broad!
Peter: Oh, no, no, Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like Elizabeth Taylor. He meant you're crazy, like that glue. You stick to things, y'know, like an adhesive. That's all he meant.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois (looking at a used car Peter wants): Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.
Peter: Just a second honey.
Lois: And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner....James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007



Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: It's like I always tell the kids, a quitter never wins and don't trust whitie.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie forty-seven times. Have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww .... (hugs peter)
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh ... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Lois: A good breakfast is the foundation of a good day.
Brian: And a bad breakfast is the foundation of indigestion! HEYOOOOOOOOOO! Hi, I'm Brian.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 208