Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 4)
Lois Griffin: Ah, Glenn, we are so thrilled for you.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, I guess it didn't take much for you to get your job back, now that you're a hero.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, and I'm so happy for you, I don't even mind that I was raped in a federal prison after I was arrested for hijacking.
Lois Grifin [answering phone]: H-hello? Oh, you must have a wrong number. There's no one here by the name of Long Rod Von Hugen Dong.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Chris Griffin: AHHHHHHHH! Mom! Dad! There's somebody in my treehouse!
Lois Griffin: Yeah, and there's an annoying little homo screaming in my kitchen. Which one do you think I'm more pissed about?
Homo Dwarf: I'll remind you that I was invited here!
Lois Griffin: Peter, you get down from that tree this instant!
Peter Griffin: No! You're gonna yell at me!
Lois Griffin: You're damn right I'm gonna yell at you. You beat up a thirteen-year-old boy!
Peter Griffin: He called me names!
Lois Griffin: You're 43, and you just assaulted our neighbor's child. This is a very serious situation!
Peter Griffin: Well, maybe you shoulda just had an abortion, Lois. Would that make you happy if I was never born?!
Lois Griffin: What?!
Peter Griffin: I'm going to prison, aren't I?
Lois Griffin: Stewie, what is that on your lip?
Stewie Griffin: I drew a pencil mustache. I like it 'cause it's just above my lip. The kind of mustache that says, "Yeah, I've been nude on camera, what of it?"
Lois Griffin: Peter, this is more irresponsible than when you fed your mogwai after midnight.
[cut to Peter about to feed a creature chicken]
Lois Griffin: Peter, didn't the little Chinese man tell you not to feed him after midnight?
Peter Griffin: Aw, come on, Lois, he's so cute. And he's hungry. What could happen? [He feeds him the chicken and the mogwai transforms into Fran Drescher]
Fran Drescher: Hello! I'm Fran Drescher!
Peter Griffin: AHH! KILL IT!
Meg Griffin: I can't believe Grandpa's dead.
Lois Griffin: Well, he did kinda treat us like crap, but yes, it is a tragedy.
Brian Griffin: It is a tragedy.
Lois Griffin: Excuse us.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, we'll be right back.
[Lois and Brian go out on the lawn where they jump for joy. They high-five, then Brian grabs Lois' breasts and wags his tail. Lois smacks him into the garbage cans, then they go back inside]
Lois Griffin: We're all gonna miss him.
Brian Griffin: Tragic.
Lois Griffin: So, Meg, your birthday's coming up, huh? You excited about turning...... huh?
Peter Griffin: Uh, Meg, uh, I got 16 candles for your birthday cake. How does that sound?
Meg Griffin: That's not right.
Peter Griffin: So, less... more... too many... uh, not enough... ?
Meg Griffin: You stupid son of a bitch! You don't even know how old I am!
Lois Griffin: Meg, that kind of language is not appropriate for a girl your age... or is it?
Meg Griffin: I'm gonna be 17, you jerks!
Peter Griffin: She's the jerk.
Peter Griffin: What? Lois, this is the best you could do?
Lois Griffin: Well, it was either Meg or a talking monkey with a cigar, but I didn't think you'd like that.
Monkey: I've already accepted another job.
Peter Griffin: Lois, you picked the opposite thing that I would like!
Monkey: It's all right, I would've driven you bananas.
Peter Griffin: Oh, oh, and he makes jokes. Nice going, Lois!
Lois Griffin: Brian, did you get into the garbage last night?
Brian Griffin: Uh, no. Why?
Lois Griffin: Don't lie to me, Brian.
Brian Griffin: I'm not lying...
