Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 6)
Lois Griffin: Oh, you can overcome shyness. Just think about the spider in Charlotte's Web who had to overcome Tourette's
[cut to the barn where Fern is walking towards the shed and sees Charlotte wrote "whore" in her web]
Stewie Griffin: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois Griffin: WHAT!?
Stewie Griffin: Hi.
Lois Griffin: Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin: I was raped.
Lois Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: Dr. Hartman violated me. He took my innocence.
Lois Griffin: W-What?
Peter Griffin [whispers something]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important part of a physical for men your age.
Peter Griffin: YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM!
Lois Griffin: F**king idiot.
Lois Griffin: We gotta get those kids out of the house once in a while. I mean, shouldn't they be dating?
Peter Griffin: Ah, that doesn't solve the problem, Lois. If they start dating, I mean, their-their rooms are right next to each other. They'll start having sex, we'll never get them out of the house, and--
Lois Griffin: No-no-no, you idiot, I'm talking about them dating other people.
Lois Griffin: [role playing] Oh! Help, Spider-Man! I'm being attacked by the evil rose bush!
Peter Griffin: Oh, I'll save you, Mary Jane!
Meg Griffin: Oh my God!
Chris Griffin: I don't know what they're fighting about, but I think Dad's winning. GO, DAD!
Lois Griffin: Kids, can we have some privacy, please?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, you guys are more annoying than that announcer on those TV commercials.
[cut away]
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Peter Griffin: Since we're all gonna die, There is one more secret I feel I have to share with you, I did not care for The Godfather.
Lois Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: Did not care for The Godfather
Chris Griffin: How can you even say that, Dad?
Peter Griffin: Didn't like... didn't like it.
Lois Griffin: Peter, it's so good, i-it's like a perfect movie!
Peter Griffin: I — this is what everyone always says... Everyone says "Oh,"—
Chris Griffin: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino... I mean, you never see — ROBERT DUVALL!
Peter Griffin: I know, I li—no—fine, fine actor, did not like the movie.
Brian Griffin: Why not?
Peter Griffin: Did not — couldn't get into it.
Lois Griffin: Peter, these are parachutes! What the hell are we going to do with parachutes?
[Scene shifts to Peter in a scuba suit]
Peter Griffin: They were to distract you while I put on the one scuba suit.
Lois Griffin: I love you, honey.
Peter Griffin: And I've grown fond of you, Lois.
Lois Griffin: Wait a minute, where's Meg?
Brian Griffin: I don't know.
Stewie Griffin: I didn't see her.
Chris Griffin: Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that.
Lois Griffin: Peter, you got to go back and get her.
Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.
Lois Griffin: Peter!
Peter Griffin: Lois, damn it, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we leave Meg.
Lois Griffin: I know, but-
Meg Griffin: YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE?!
Peter Griffin: Look... She's... Okay, see? It resolved itself.
Peter Griffin: Holy crap!
Brian Griffin: What the hell was that?
Lois Griffin: Stewie, what are you doing?!
Stewie Griffin [singsongy]: They're here.
Brian Griffin: Who's here?
Stewie Griffin: The TV people. What? No, they did a spin-off. Um, he's still playing Joey, but... uh, it's not doing so well.