Lorelai Gilmore Quotes (Page 14)
Sookie: Got any plates that aren't cracked?
Luke: You're the one that's cracked.
Sookie: Nice thing to say to a pregnant woman.
Luke: You're pregnant?
Lorelai: Could you be any farther behind?
Lorelai: Oh, mime. That reminds me – Yale, best drama school bar none. Put that in the pro column.
Rory: I'm not taking drama.
Lorelai: No, but it means you'll have the best on-campus productions. You'll get to see the next Meryl Streep all goofy and 18 and doing crap like, "Hey, name an occupation!" "Plumber!" "Name a farm tool now!" "Tractor!" "Hey, I'm a tractor doing ... plumbing."
Rory: Mom's a little crabby this morning.
Lorelai: I am not crabby. I'm very very ill.
Rory: With allergies.
Lorelai: Deadly allergies.
Rory: Sorry, I didn't mean to minimize your condition. Shall we make funeral arrangements now?
Lorelai: Yes, and make sure you get your money back if these pills work.
Rory: Where did you get these?
Lorelai: Found them in your room.
Rory: These expired in 1998.
Lorelai: So... What I should take, four then?
Lorelai: [to coat-check woman] Um, excuse me, hi. I am not seeing my coat here, and it was very cute and it was on sale, and I will fling myself off a building if I lose it.
Woman: We put some of the coat racks in the classroom over there, take a look. Otherwise the staircase to the roof is on your right.
Lorelai: Thank you. Hmm. Took 200 years, but somebody at Chilton finally cracked a joke.
Richard: Ah, you’re here.
Lorelai: And you are by far the most masculine-looking maid my parents have ever had.
Richard: It’s chaos here. The second maid called in sick, the first is busy with dinner, and your poor mother is at the hospital. Her DAR group suffered a surfeit of strokes this week.
Lorelai: Come again?
Richard: Three of her friends had strokes. And now she is hopping from sick bed to sick bed offering whatever comfort she can.
Rory: It’s nothing, it’s just Paris. There’s this speech contest for the bicentennial, and I wasn’t even going to enter it, but I don’t know – with the whole ‘it’s my last chance to crush you before graduation’ comment, I want to enter, I want to win, and I wanna dance around her saying ‘I win, I win, I win!’
Lorelai: Wow, you’re getting more and more like me everyday.
Lorelai: It’ll be fun. There’ll be cheerleaders and clowns, people doing the wave.
Rory: You have no idea what a hockey game is, do you?
Lorelai: Okay, for starters, I think you have to realize something – you were really lucky with Dean. He was an exceptional first boyfriend, and you got spoiled. Most of us didn’t have first boyfriends like Dean. Most of us had first boyfriends like Brian Hutchins.
Rory: Brian Hutchins?
Lorelai: Seventh grade, I’m sitting in the library, walks up, asks me to go steady. I say yes. He walks away and I don’t see him again until the tenth grade when he tries to sell me a dimebag at the Sadies Hawkins Day dance. And he was way overcharging for it, too.
Rory: That’s demented.
Lorelai: Well, that’s what most of us had to put up with. Where do you think the Susan Faludi’s of the world came from?
Rory: We need a signal.
Lorelai: A kissing signal?
Rory: Something to avoid this.
Lorelai: Okay, um, how ‘bout I shoot off a flare when I’m outside necking with a boy?
Rory: You know what I mean.
Lorelai: Or I could bang on the door and yell, "Hey, we’re necking out here!"
Rory: I still say we need a signal.
Lorelai: Man, that was some stealthy little maneuver she pulled there, huh? Applying the guilt over not knowing about the Dean breakup and making you all weak, and then using that to get Jess to come to dinner on Friday. She’s like Lyndon Johnson with the Senate, effortless.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 10th, 2007