Luke Danes Quotes (Page 3)
Luke: Well, if you have a big one you don't need a small one. [Lorelai opens her mouth to speak] Don't say "dirty," it's too easy. Hold these.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 18th, 2007 Kirk: Say I was Tom Cruise, where would you seat me?
Luke: In an acting class.
Luke: Oh, well. . .Tom called. The banister on the stairs has to be replaced. It'll be $4,000. Tamsin Cordally called. He needs a deposit on the quartersawn oak. It'll be $4,000. Julio the landscaper called. I have no idea what he said, but it's going to be $4,000. Vicki from Vicki's Horse Supply called. She thinks Pepper and Gunsmoke would suit your needs, but Gunsmoke snores, so the stables can't be too close to the guests' bedrooms. Rory's looking for her black Converse, and, oh, one last thing - I'm not taking messages for you anymore!
• Vote for this Quote! • October 18th, 2007 Luke: I'm just having a bad day.
Lorelai: Zzz.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Days. You've been stomping around, barking at people for days.
Luke: I have not.
Lorelai: Yes, Cujo, you have.
Luke: I always talk to people like that.
Lorelai: No, Benji, you don't.
Luke: I'll be fine tomorrow.
Lorelai: Really, Lassie? Why is that?
Luke: Well, the first night on the boat we, uh, went to see an act that everyone was raving about. We go in, sit down, they close the door. Turned out to be a guy playing musical drinking glasses. You know, with the half-filled cups that give off different tones. He played Mozart, and I swear I could hear Mozart banging on his coffin. Out of politeness, we stayed, and there went an hour of our lives. Next night, the sign in front of the theater said the entertainment for the night was a guy singing the songs of Sinatra. We verified with the guy at the door, the songs of Frank Sinatra, right? Not Tina, not Frank Jr., not Bill Sinatra, but Ol' Blue Eyes. "Yes," he says. "It's like Frank come to life." We go in, sit down, they close the door. Then they announce that the guy singing Sinatra is sick and the glass-playing guy is filling in. Out he comes, there's goes another hour. Next night, we meet a nice couple while walking the Lido Deck. Had some nice conversation, so we have dinner with them. Everything's going great. Then they invite us to go somewhere afterwards. Guess where they took us. That's right, to see the glass guy. Three night in a row, Three hours total. Well that's what I want. I want three hours back!
• Vote for this Quote! • October 18th, 2007 Lorelai: Well, I can't take it back to Yale.
Luke: I'm not storing your microbe mattress, forget it.
Lorelai: Well, then I'm stuck here.
Luke: Fine, because I need my truck back.
Lorelai: Fine, but that leaves you with the mattress.
Luke: I'm not taking the mattress.
Lorelai: Then let me take the truck.
Luke: But that means you take the mattress.
Lorelai: I can't take the mattress.
Luke: Then you can't have the truck.
Lorelai: This is a misogynistic truck.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: It's anti-woman, it's gender-selective, it's "Oh, let's drink a beer and watch the game and hike our shorts up."
Rory: This is Iran in '79, and you are Jimmy Carter, what do we do?
Lorelai: First, we get rid of the Jimmy Carter reference.
Luke: Look at you. All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood.
Taylor: I don't think you had a childhood. I think you came out a bitter, surly killjoy.
Rory: We're in pain, Luke.
Luke: But it's great that you guys are bearing it so nobly. And can you move these?
Rory: Can? No.
Lorelai: Would if we could? Debatable.
