Lynette Scavo Quotes (Page 4)
Louisa: "Yesterday afternoon, Parker offered a cookie to Cindy Lou Peeples if she would show him her vagina."
Lynette: "What kind of cookie?"
Louisa: "What does that matter?"
Lynette: "Oh, it doesn’t. I’m just stalling because I am completely mortified."
Mrs. McCluskey: "Apparently, Parker wanted to put a sunflower seed inside me and see if a baby would grow. Where do kids get this stuff?"
Lynette: "Oh, that was me. He was asking about the birds and the bees and I fudged a few of the details. Well, he's only seven years old. I don't think he needs to know everything yet. I don't wanna rob him of his innocence."
Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, now, that's where you're wrong. You get 'em when they're young. Give 'em all the gory details. And then when they're good and disgusted, you shame 'em."
Edie: "Serving bowls. Just what I needed, Lynette."
Lynette: "There's a gift receipt taped to the bottom of the box."
Edie: "Oh. Thank god!"
Veronica: "If that's not bad enough, now I'm gonna get fat again."
Lynette: "Huh?"
Veronica: "Breast-feeding was the only thing that kept the weight off. Every mealtime was like doing thirty minutes of cardio. Now I'm gonna have to join a gym!"
Lynette: "Wow, that is really a bummer."
Veronica: "It is. It really is."
Ed: "You're a woman. It's easier for you to talk to her about milk and boobs and stuff."
Lynette: "No! No, uh, please. Don't make me do it. Why don't you have Jerry tell her?"
Jerry: "I made a pass at her yesterday. It'd be weird."
Ed: "You could do it without offending her. Come on, Lynette. Take one for the team."
Lynette: "Okay, but for the record, the team is made up of wimps."
Ed: "Well, the team's aware of that and accepts your loathing."
Lynette: "So you want me to, uh, pitch you as parents?"
Gabrielle: "You're in advertising. You can do it. Just write us a character reference saying we're great with kids. Oh, this is for you."
Lynette: "Oh. Well, you don't have to bribe me. We're all friends here."
Gabrielle: "Keeping that in mind, would it also be okay if we were your kids' godparents?"
Lynette: "Oh! Uh, I guess."
Tom: "We have to be at work in one hour. There's no day care on the weekends, so if you cut McCluskey loose, we're stuck!"
Lynette: "We will find someone ... someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day Lincoln was shot."
Lynette: "Hey, I got great news. We just landed the Black’s Frozen Yogurt account."
Tom: "Really! They loved the pitch?"
Lynette: "The talking cows rocked their world."
Tom: "Hey, how did they like my prison Bull Clinton idea?"
Lynette: "It is not the Ebola Virus, it’s chicken pox. You are being a baby."
Tom: "Yes, I am.
Lynette: "Okay."
Tom: "And if you think I’m being a baby now, do I need to remind you of what I’m like when I’m sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counseling."
Lynette: "I’ll call the office."
Gabrielle: "Have you guys noticed how friendly Betty’s been since that body was found in front of her house?"
Edie: "I don’t trust friendly women."
Lynette: "That’s okay. They don’t trust you either."
