Maeby Fünke Quotes (Page 3)
Maeby: Is there any way I can divorce them?
Barry: Oh, sure. It’s called emancipation. But you’ve got to prove that you’re living in an unstable environment.
Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course they haven’t succeeded yet.
Narrator: At no point were Michael and Maeby talking about the same person, and there were only four people in their group.
Maeby: And it’s not a race thing.
Michael: Yeah, whoever gets there first.
Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though, you probably are a homosexual.
Tobias: I must warn you, Michael, she doesn't respond well to strict directives.
Maeby: All right.
Tobias: That was odd.
Michael: Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. [about "Girls with Low Self-Esteem"] Is this what you want?
Tobias: Oh, God, no.
Michael: This could be where your daughter is headed.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I don't want this for Maeby either.
Maeby: It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple on his way to Mexico!
George Michael: Of course! You're mocking me.
Maeby: Of course.
Lindsay: I'm protesting the war. There's a war going on, you know.
Maeby: Yeah. I'm the one who told you, and you said it happened 10 years ago.
Maeby: The only real way to find out how it's done is to sneak on the boat while he does it.
George Michael: Yeah, but then if he makes it disappear, won't everyone just see me standing there?
Maeby: Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was ... Anyway, if it was me, that's what I would do.
Maeby: Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
George Michael: Surely's dying?
Maeby: I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation just so everyone gets really sad before prom.
Lindsay: I'll tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
Lindsay: We should go now before your Dad gets back. No need going halfsies with him, too.
Maeby: That's it! Tell me what's up with you and Dad.
Lindsay: Nothing. Nothing's wrong with your father and me. We have a-a wonderful, close relationship. Can I let you in on a little secret? Hmm? Having him in the next room makes me miss him all the more.
Maeby: Mom, please. He's got a big boy crush on Action Jackson.
